Chapter 56
Eradicating Poverty from
My Extended Family
My ultimate vision concerning my family at large is that of total unity. I have, however, identified poverty as the most potent weapon that can make the realization of this goal unattainable. The blessings and joy of the single successful family member are stunted by the general poverty of the majority, thus confirming the saying that a tree cannot make a forest. In his kind-heartedness and willingness to meet everyone's needs, he's most likely brought down instead!
It is poverty that breeds the wickedness among women in polygamous homes. Poverty destroys the foundation of their love for themselves. Poverty even precedes greed, self-centredness and all other such vices.
I have taken out quality time to ponder on the question: why is it that, in a polygamous home, there is so much struggle amongst mothers to covet the best for their own children? Even in a monogamous home, why do children struggle so much to outdo themselves to the point of throwing love to the dustbin?
Why do children from polygamous homes have no problems with the children from their maternal origins?
The answers are simple: on the paternal side, every woman wants her own group of the children to inherit the fattest portion of her husband's insufficient property; whereas on the maternal side, the children are bonded, because there is no contentious inheritance on that side of the family divide. Instead, they struggle to inherit anything outside their common weal.
This knowledge, that I received through my personal observation and experience, underpins my unrelenting fight against poverty and my continuous propagation for its destruction everywhere.
Resistance To Change
In the process of reshaping things, I know I would step on the toes of those who would resist change, for I will not sustain the old habit of anybody receiving the gift of fish. I am only interested in teaching and giving somebody the skill to fish. As I do this, I foresee the agony of pain. Yes, it is a familiar terrain, which I will not circumvent. Pain is very necessary to win a battle of this nature. It cost God Almighty pain to give out His “only begotten son”, Jesus Christ, for believers in Him to be saved.
Jesus himself knowingly suffered a painful death on the cross of Calvary to accomplish God's gift of saving us. For yams, corn, oranges, for example, to produce their kind, they must first die in their sowing or burials (pain) before they can germinate and fruitify. For anybody to rise within or ouside a family, he must suffer some deprivation or pain. For the persons God would use to uplift him or her, they must suffer some pains as a result of giving out to him or her what the givers ought to use for themselves. For a place to acquire the stutus of modernity, it must suffer reshaping that wuld prune it of its bush edges that make it ancient-like and retard its further growth.
Some, in their pains, might over-react and resort to some undesirable aggression - verbal or otherwise, but the spirit of truthfulness and undiluted love will neutralise such tendencies.
However, on the other hand, this experience of pain among erstwhile beneficiaries will come from having to learn new ways of survival, totally different from the lackadaisical past, in a difficult manner. Expectations of the usual largesse from the former but now reluctant “Father Christmas” will be disappointed.
As I write, I have two live cases on my hands: one, a boy whom God has been using me to uplift academically but who is preferring to while away the first 30 years of his useful life without attempts to be independent!! That brewed some misunderstanding until I had to invite his parents to make him and conform to my vision for him.
My focus has been to give him the necessary skill as quickly as possible, at no cost, like expecting him to wash my clothes or cook my meals! I have eagerly looked forward to the day he will graduate from the University and settle down to his own life. He, having failed to make the JAMB requirements or secure a direct admission to any University at about the late age of 23 years, I had to use what he already had to get a part-time Degree admission programme for him that should begin his journey to self-actualisation.
But for the fact that he was bent on going for full-time courses, he is unwilling to cooperate, even though I pleased with him that my retirement is near and that I should know when he would graduate and when he will stop depending upon me for his daily bread. Moreover, my own children are in the University, as well as other serious-minded people who need assistance (within an doutside the family). I went further to plead with him to hold on to the part-time programme then and that if he eventually succeeded in obtaining full-time admission within a reasonable time, he would be allowed to abandon the part-time for it.
He did not see things that way. He assured me that once he was able to make an upper credit in his diploma programme he was certain that LASU or any other University would admit him automatically their full-time programme. He was made to understand that if he undertakes the 5-year part-time study admission in his hands, baring any form of strike actions, he would graduate at 28. With the one-year National Youth Service, he would be ready for employment at around 29 or 30 years. Beyond that age-bracket, he would be risking unemployment, considering the way things or corporate policies are shaping in Nigeria
Ironically he is being short-sighted. He wants to continue to seek direct admission at all costs no matter how long it would take him to secure one. He is under peer pressure and, unfortunately, nobody can persuade him as he toys with his future. His attitude negates what I stand for (remember my 25 year-rule?). To put an end to our contention, I had to invite his parents and after extensive review of the situation, my conclusion is that if he toys with the admission in his hands and fails to secure another one before the 31st day of December 2005, he should consider himself outside my care and sponsorship of his education. That is as far as I would compromise.
As events turned out, he made the expected Upper Credit in his Diploma programme. I was happy. But LASU did not admit him automatically! As this happened, I did not get totally tired of him still, I offered to obtain for him another part-time programme form, which was out at that time closing on the 14th of January, 2006 . Still, he wasn't keen as he said I should allow him to conclude everything about his alternative University admission. I had no option than to allow him to satisfy himself. As at 15th January, 2006, the LASU part-time form (his second opportunity) has closed while the feelers I am having, sadly too, does not point to the fact that things are still difficult concerning the his expectation from his alternative choice of University! However, on the 11th of January, 2006 , I forwarded the following SMS to his father, and himself:
“How far with (name withheld) admission sir. He should remain there until he gets it because there is nothing he will be doing for himself or me here (in Lagos
Of course he cannot return to me unless he produces the admission letter. It takes two to co-operate before any progress can be made. If we are not compatible vision-wise, then our continued stay together will produce no desired result that is, for him to obtain within reasonable time, the skill, which will give him life-long dependence!
Even though all along, I have encouraged my people to live with me, it has never been for the purpose of househelp. The aim has been to grow them so that in our corporate families, we would rise up. Anything short of that, I am prepared to do without them or anybody for that matter!
In our larger family also, I have already stepped on toes too. Unfortunately those affected are people who have meant so much to me. It is really sad and anytime I remember that, I am depressed!
But if I truly love them, I must not be afraid to tell them the truth on the way our family can move forward. If they don't share my vision, I will not accept to go their way as I cannot be saying 'let's rise up' while they in turn are saying 'let's remain where we are”! I am sick and tired of the poverty-dominated level we have been all the while. We must advance! If anyone, no matter how closely related to me says he or she would not advance, then my policy towards that person would be that we shall remain family within the concept of what I call 'general love', which does not require over-stretching myself beyond acceptable limit. If I find nobody to go along with me in the entire family circle, first I will go it all alone and search anywhere outside my family for people with clear visions and who are ready to move and we shall go forward together!
For example, much as I do not preach that people should plan the size of their families, yet it follows common sense that they should only bear the number of children they can cater for by themselves and within their limited and hard-earned resources. While doing so, they should bear in mind, too, their need for a preferred minimum standard of life, (why can't a family enjoy annual vacations?), support for poor relatives and the cost of both personal development and the irreducible contribution to Church and society. Otherwise, families are trapped in the vicious circle of poverty, become a burden on society and suffer spiritual death in the Church where they become the subject of discussion in welfare packaging.
Because they are permanently under pressure, their eyes and hopes are permanently pinned on the government to provide everything free for them and their children. They are the people who cry 'help, help, help' without understanding the real meaning of the word 'help' itself. To them, 'help' means 'carry all my burdens' instead of 'I am in a temporary fix, assist me to stand on my feet again'. Failure to meet their insatiable demands sentences their potential helpers automatically to the camp of their enemies against whom scud missiles, spiritually and otherwise, must be directed! They have no 'progress' reports; rather, they have myriads of problems invoices they present to you to settle. When they write letters, most often they forget to ask after the wellbeing of their potential helpers. What comes first is an unending list of financial 'emergencies' in their lives. They have no useful advice for anybody. They are pre-occupied with what to eat, and their appetites are never satisfied.
Their brood of children are thereby neglected, underfed, without proper upbringing and education, psychologically and morally fragmented, rooted and silted in the delta of poverty! The destination of those children is the votex of child labour, hardship, exposure to anti-social behaviours, which incubate wildness and, for the girl-child, sexual degeneration. For the boy, he grows up without supervision and soon, becomes a menace to the society.
Any child who manages to remain intact from such austere upbringing will need the special grace of God to compete amid affluent peers and achieve a worthwhile goal in life. Such a survivor would be scarred for life and he would tend to be a difficult or complicated partner in the home or elsewhere. Would such a person not be better, or averse to being dragged down again by the demands of siblings and relatives? If he responded at all, would he not do so with taunts? What family would spring from such a poisoned source? How do we contemplate a world populated by near deviants? Would such a child not find him or herself being chased by 'the invisible enemies' from his origins and so run away from them?
To avoid the actualisation of such a frightening scenario, I have since carried my enlightening campaign of the ideal family to the doorsteps of my own extended families.
I shall continue to preach the message to anyone who would listen in my life time. If we want to step out of poverty, we must do things in moderation. For instance, if I want to help you to grow, I must see that you are willing to grow. I won't make myself unhappy by continuing to pay the school fees of a child that has no interest in his or her studies. I do not see why I must involve myself in building the life of a man who would rather descend the elevator of poverty by producing children indiscriminately. I don't see any justifiable reason (except for stupidity of course) why I should sit by the side of the impoverished who has chosen not to use his or her own hands to work and listen to his stories of woe. You must work to earn a living and you must be engaged in a worthwile cause to attract assistance. Your offerings must be attractive for other sympathetic people's investment. Only such a situation would let God minister to the hearts of His chosen 'do-gooders' to intervene in the lives of the truly needy.
My readers, hear this: I was once told of a story of a Tea girl who worked for one of the topmost banks in the country but who pretended to a sympathetic man that she needed money to pay for her GCE examinations. The man believed her story and gave her the money. However, fortuitously walking down the staircase of their multi-story building later, the man came upon the same girl where she was buying clothes with the money! That is the kind of 'wasteful help' that some people plot. The dresses she bought would have since been torn but if she had applied the money for the announced purpose, her GCE Certificate would have exposed her to better opportunities in life that would not tear or fade! Let's assume that she even failed the exams but she would have thereby added value to her life having read the books. The experiences would have improved her chances of passing the next exams and the first benefactor might have been persuaded by her perceived zeal to fund her again.
Believe it or not, the truth is that our helpers do monitor, or at least they are interested in our progress - not only to see whether they could invest more in us but also for personal satisfaction.
The Care of My Parents
Ever since I identified poverty as the primary bane of life and have fought to overcome it, so I have tried progressively to protect my parents against its ravages. I have commensurably fed, sheltered and medically catered for them. However, I have never allowed them to drag me into emotional expenditures even if other people's children do so.
I started this experiment with my late mother who was vision-driven all her life. I thank God that for the last 18 years of her life she spent with me on daily basis, she was at peace all round. She lacked nothing good in terms of feeding, shelter, clothing, spiritual and medicare until her dying day in November, 2002. She never suffered. She lived a victorious life over poverty!
As to my father (another God-favoured fellow all round) and my step-mothers, God has made it possible for us (their children), to take proper and adequate care of them
My Siblings - generally
Part of my strategy for eradicating poverty in my family was never to engage external house-helps in my household, not even when my family was rearing children. Instead, I brought in my relations who were most likely to treat our affairs as their own. Indeed our entire corporate family benefited from this decision. It tied-in with my resolve to do what I could for those that lived with me which would enable them to be economically independent in the long run. Their domestic chores were co-incidental, not reciprocal service. Not surprisingly, when they saw love, they responded naturally by making my home their home and getting emotionally, physically and psychologically attached and involved in all that my family did.
This is why I assert that people are not created bad. When they see genuine love, they will recognise it reciprocate it also. Many of us have problems with our families because we see them as outsiders. If we demonstrate that we truly love them, they will reciprocate our love endlessly.
Therefore, my target was to train at least a child of every sibling of mine. I made such relatives realise that my own reward for such gesture would be for them to respond similary to their own families and others they would interact with in future. I also appealed to their parents not to overburden their children by breeding more children that would not only hamper our efforts at destroying poverty in our families but would make a better future a mere dream.
By the special grace of God, I have done this successfully for my three maternal siblings. However, the extent of poverty eradication in their own families has been a function of how well their children followed the legacy they received from me. I combined my God-given teaching skills to teach them the word of God on daily basis. They rehearsed my slogan: “it is not what you give to me that matters, but what you take out of my house”. Whenever they failed to perform household cores (which was rare though), I had no problems with that. But they knew I would fight the hell out of them if they failed to carry out their academic assignments or failed to read the books I spent my hard-earned money to buy for them. The boys were strongly aware that the moment they impregnated any girl, meant that they were set for marriage and that they must do so outside my house. It would be stupid to expect me to cater for them and their irresponsibility.
The girls also got the message that once they got impregnated, they were ready to get married and move in with their spouses, for the same reasons as the boys. In addition, they were counselled on the consequences of waywardness and the ample rewards of a focused life. Since they all were fully integrated with my nuclear family without discrimination, they lived our lives and received all the lessons of godly life I imparted to my own children.
My Paternal Sibblings
As would be expected in any undertaking, there have been many successes as well as failures. The results were a natural outcome: as in the Biblical story of the sower, some seeds fell on thorny or stony grounds while others germinated on good soil. Besides, mental capacities are different; so also are genes. But we thank God that the right orientation has been recognised by all. The battle for a perfect world will not be won in one generation or too soon, but there is rejoicing in heaven whenever someone is liberated from the shackles of this world.
As to my half-brothers and sisters (if that will make for specific identity even though I don't like to use the word 'half') on my paternal side, the results have not been as canalised and profound as I would have wanted them. Part of the loss was due to the fact that I came into their lives midstream, as it were, at a much later date when their habits had died hard, as a result of initial orientations and environment. So my effort had been concentrated on forging a like-mindedness and understanding between us and identifying in my little way with their children to achieve common cause.
In other words, we interact as frequently as possible, not only physically but also through constant communication and counselling. We have a sense of unity and there is no reticence. We throw open our doors to ourselves uninhibited.
However, my main target is to perfectly knit our children together so that their own unity will surpass our own as their parents. I have particularly been interested in opening their eyes to the menace of poverty in our family and that they should do everything honestly possible to ensure that it has no foothold in their lives. This is one major gospel I have continued to preach to them and I am happy they are understanding the message. It is a project which I have given them to deliberate upon and which we discuss from time to time. The younger ones will meet us and join the train as they grow and expand in understanding. I want the corporate anointing for the eradication of poverty to extend to every member of our next generation and the generations after them from now till eternity! They are being groomed for research that will open them up to wealth-creating ventures pari passu with their ongoing higher education. This is to enable them ample exposure academically and intellectually while my house is their University of Wealth
I am happy to see our children interact, especially during holidays when as much as possible I mix with them personally to lay bare to them my basic and utilitarian philosophy of life - an antidote to poverty. I think I have had my bearing right and we shall all flow together.
My Mother's Siblings
Why do I bother myself with this category of people? It is simple. My mother's people were the trees that formed the forest in which I was born. One way or the other, they had contributed much, however intangible, to my upbringing. They were the people who made my childhood a memorable and joyful one. They formed the world in which I circulated. They fed me, gave me water to drink and provided me warmth not only in their homes but when I was out in the cold in search of the meaning in life. Their children were the bushes among whom I found refuge. They were the people who cuddled me and milled around supportively when mother nursed my sick body. They were the people who buoyed up my mother in times of turbulence. Yes! It was they with whom my mother shared her innermost secrets. So, it has been easy to conclude, at this moment of my easy street when all is well with me, that it couldn't be better to induct them into my circle of new understanding of life. Delivering on my life-long legacy, I have so far been able to pull up three out of my mother's four siblings by their bootstraps. My belief has been that trained children would help their parents and go on to train their own younger ones. Those of them who have bought into my vision for them are benefiting their own families already. What I owe them, thenceforth, is 'whatever I could conveniently afford, certainly not the burden of bearing all their responsibilities. For the one I could not yet help, I pray to be able to do something tangible for her someday.
Chapter 57
My Passions
For People
As I stated at the very beginning, I am prone to some specific categories of people. The are children, women and genuine strugglers (their sexes notwithstanding). I am not committed for anyone outside these groupings, no matter the close or blood relationship. Whenever I see or meet this category of concern, I instantly recognise them and we empathise automatically.
So let us examine briefly some of their attributes, after which I will use my wife as a symbol for the women's group.
The Children
I feel strongly for children and their lives because they are innocent and pure - toys and puppets that are easily pliable wastefully in the harsh environment we live. They have no malice and are like empty computers which can be freely loaded with viruses at any time. So to me, children are fragile and they should be handled with utmost care to make their lives meaningful.
The Women
They are akin to children, very fragile and very trusting. Once convinced, they stake their totality to whosoever seeks them. Between the ages of one and ten years, they are like the young flower stems in the garden. Between 12 year and 18 years, they blossom and are full-blown rapidly.
Everything about them gives hope but at the same time they become targets of all sorts. They therefore become problems: to themselves, their parents and all categories of people, especially to their male counterparts. Soon, their parents are unable any longer to vouch for their purity of heart. Thereafter, they become, fully, their mothers' children and responsibility because their father ceases to vouch for their character. They become problems to themselves when, with the evolving experiences of womanhood, they soar with the dizzy feeling of the freedom to manage themselves. So they begin to see, erroneously, their parents as threats (some in-house rivals). They want to take time out. They want to venture into the world. They want to attend the night parties. They want to belong to the group of those 'who have arrived'. Their skirts become mini and minier. Their blouse (these days) end high above their navel. Their jeans trousers are worn below the belt. Some of them go for the 'tights'. Their lips are multi-coloured, their steps now well calculated to attract. Above all, they become very fashion-conscious.
This is the period when boys will obey whatever the girls say, ever trying to please them. They (the boys) swarm around them like bees for honey or palm-wine. Even the grown-up men (married or not) are not left out of the game of natural dance of life. They give them unsolicited gifts of all sorts, which make some girls to regard cautioners, including their parents, siblings and well-wishers as either enemies, fools or un-progressives. They are admired by their irresponsible teachers who, willingly, offer them cheap marks whenever they are ready to 'play ball'. Their steps are now guileful. Indeed, they tempt people and people reciprocate.
Yet the tragic-comedy of this period is that it determines whether they will be a success or failure in life. Only a few girls avoid acquiring permanent scars after experimenting with the signposts of adolescence: sex, drug, stubbornness, abandonment of their studies, dalliance in disco, entertainment life, weird fashion and all that. Some would have even over-indulged in spiritual gerrymandering to the detriment of their studies!
Unfortunately, in emotional matters, women are ruled totally by their hearts and, under such pressures, they end up in catastrophe. They are either 'accidentally' impregnated or they become so exposed to the world of contraceptives that they virtually become prostitutes with the attendant consequences. Their educational status, whether they are in the Secondary or Tertiary institutions of learning, doesn't affect or dampen their thoughtless reactions.
It is only a few of them, who learnt on the side of God and humbled themselves, that are able to escape the inevitable social scourge. They are those who listened to their parents (whom they so cherished) for guidance and read good books and watched films of sound moral content. They are those who kept good company and shared progressive views. They are they who appreciated spiritual matters while remaining studious as they pursued their visions.
Above all, they are those who did everything in the fear of the Lord and in moderation, determined to excel in life and be a pride to their Creator, their parents and the larger society.
When they graduate into marriage, women are sometimes victims of the battering of cruel husbands. That's not all. They have no permanent names of their own, unless, God willing, they are married into good homes or are met with good fortune. Otherwise they are victims to everlasting agony.
When they are visited by the calamity of divorce or broken marriage, they are invariably declared persona non grata in their own parents' homes. If they did, as in the Yoruba setting, they acquire a name no responsible lady ever wants to bear, “ilemosu”, which is a serious stigma for life. As single parents, the society perceives them as if they are irresponsible whilst burdened by the total responsibilities of caring for their offspring. In a man's world, their erring male partners would have 'mended' their ways and begun to perch unabashedly with other women in their lives. Thenceforward, loneliness dogs their days until many of them end up in the psychiatric wards.
Even when they are happily married, they are on permanent sojourn. It's God's doing if their husbands live long enough to keep their company. Even so, after successfully rearing their own children, their position changes to that of a nanny, caring for their grand-children, and a house-help to their own children! They move from one child's house to another in a ceaseless circle of life-long catering. If the places where they sojourn are rosy, they partake of the joy. But if they boil, they boil along or are boiled in cognito.
If their husbands die, even when they were as old as the Biblical Methuselah, autopsy reports would trace it to them as the killers of their husbands. If the women are young, they are easily appropriated like chattel as a remnant of the dead man's properties to be shared. These considerations are the basis of my passion for women. They are at the receiving end, and they are to be pitied.
It formed the basis of my early attachment to and sympathy for my own mother, and I thank God that He used me to wash away all her sorrows - at least for the last twenty-five years of her life. She died a happy woman and I survived her a happy child! That is why I am passionate in my prayers that, God willing, my wife should not taste of the bitter pills women swallow. It is why I have resolved to be unconditionally compassionate to virtuous and genuinely struggling women (young or old) wherever we meet - without any strings or conditions whatsoever attached. Women deserve good treatment.
The Strugglers
I regard this category of people as those destined to win but are faced with all sorts of odds in this world. Male or female, their common denominator is their undying vision and their unquenchable spirit to stay the course of the necessary struggle until they arrive at their goals.
They are willful, and do not believe anything is impossible. They may be in a quandary for a long time finding a solution but they never give up. And when the opportunity comes, they grasp it with both hands, use it judiciously and come up at the end with positive results for their labours. They believe in hard work, which they display in all situations in order to feed themselves by the works of their hands. They are selfless, too, even in their dire situation because they look forward with hope for a better tomorrow - in which time and elevation they are prepared to help others out of their misery. They are invariably close to God who always shows them mercy.
Above all, they understand the true concept and meaning of assistance or 'help' and would not demean it by converting it into an art of 'dependency' like people I call “The Milkers”. (I shall talk about this group presently). Left to them, they would not bother people but the necessity for self-actualisation impels them to do so. Whenever they receive help, they show genuine appreciation and do not see themselves as the clever manipulators of their seemingly foolish helpers. The female amongst them do not see such assistance as an opportunity to seduce their helpers, whilst the male are forever grateful to their benefactors - whenever or whatever they may be or have become. They employ their personal means fully until it is exhausted before they would think of or entertain any thoughts for outside assistance.
And when they secure the assistance, they do not exploit it for ulterior or selfish gain or profit. They respond to others in like manner, and whatever they receive they spend on the sole purpose for which it was requested. These are some of the people I am passionate about. They are highly ambitious. It radiates from them, whether they be permanent, temporary staff, apprentices or Youth Corpers, even Industrial Attachees: they have a common propensity to achieve and a fiery determination to make it happen.
Whenever I see them, I court them, and reason with them as we jointly identify their problems and I contribute my widow's mite in genuine cases. My assistance is unconditional. In most cases, I am able to introduce the beneficiaries to my home where, I believe, they would elicit more favours and ultimate understanding from my family.
Thank God, my good wife who shares my vision in this regard, integrates them into our family and sometimes the outreach also envelopes their families. We have maintained this tradition even in the face of some scandalous detractors who have tried to exploit the situation to disrupt the harmony of our family. It is part of the risk in the war against poverty. I accept the pain joyfully since it will produce rich and better people in our society. It is for their sake and the sake of women and children in particular that I write this book to encourage them.
My prayer is that God will remain our guide to support others to the best of our abilities and that He would not allow the gates of our enemies to prevail against our stand.
The Indolent
There is yet another group that I hardly talk about, who live in our families; they are present in our offices, in our churches and wherever we find ourselves. Some of them are our neighbours, and, unfortunately, many more are our own biological children from whom we cannot run away! They are in all age categories, even much older than us. These are the lazy people - the drones, the indolent ones! They want to milk you to death. They invariably twist your offer of assistance to ensnare you into a vicious circle of exploitation to suck you dry! And the end-result is to create problems for others, unrepentantly. They would rather indulge in pleasure than dare the side of life where they would experience pain. They criticize and are uncomfortable with any suggestion that one or they must work with their own hands to feed themselves and bless others. There is no moderation in their dictionary and their voices are loud and spiteful. They peddle rumours and make written demands always beyond your overall budget. When they visit you, they can only tell tall tales that signify nothing but a waste of time and boredom. If, unfortunately, you fall prey and are milked dry, they leave you, unconscionably without a backward glance for the next victim. The trajectory of their lives is an irredeemable disaster!
To this category of people, I owe ONLY one thing that I call general love, the type of love that God has for all His creation - human beings, fauna and plants alike. He showers His rains, His sunshine, His fresh air, His talents, His mercy, His grace and so on upon all regardlessly, but these are only means to some ends. They do not necessarily solve all our problems but He owes no one any apologies for that. If you want something extra or beyond those, then work for it. Otherwise, make do with that which you are given. So, what do I feel for the sluggard? Everything within the limit of general love but I will not consider whether my offering meets his needs or not.
I have already said so much about Nigeria
My current contemplations are many. I can choose the pulpit on a ful-time basis to radically preach the Word of God to transform lives for the better; or write books on how to achieve the necessities of a successful life. I could create a website by which to reach out to countless people around the globe and pour out life-transforming information therein to them or join the handwaggon of those dedicated to praying ceaselessly for Nigeria Nigeria Nigeria
To me, politics, politics in such a stage is not synonymous with service to others' but like a professional career practice meant solely for selfish and heartless acquisitions! How does one operate in an atmosphere where the elected are a bunch of puppets, bought and shackled under the constantly manipulating, proverbial monsters called political godfathers. There is no room therefore for the independent-minded, like me. And yet, politics remains the only direct and surest public avenue for the rapid redressing of chronic social ills and inequities!
We therefore look to God for guidance as Nigeria
If the battle is won to the extent that those who would hold political offices are prepared to be the servants of the people (which might not be impossible during my life-time), I might do a re-think and join the political bandwagon!
I have therefore resolved to continue to watch the turn of events as they unfold (especially considering the current bold battle against corruption in the country) while exploring alternative schemes to fulfill my aims. If the battle is won to the extent that those who would hold poiltical office are prepared to be the servants of the people (which might not be impossible during my life-time), I might do a re-think and join the political bandwagon!
For now, however, I have concentrated on a combination of what Robert G. Allen, in his book “Multiple Streams of Income”, calls Inforpreneuring, network marketing and internet fortunes, as well as the exhortations of the pulpit to advance my goal of helping people to acquire the necessary knowledge to eradicate poverty from their lives.
I have already identified writing books as another avenue to achieve this, and I plan henceforth, God willing, to release books to the market as often as possible.
I will also do whatever I can within the shortest possible time, to properly populate my website (www.joent-ng-com), not only with the electronic versions of my books but also conduct interactive sessions in the same web by which people, generally, would key into their own visions.
Chapter 58
In The
People's Court
One criticism that has always greeted auto-biographies is the fact that they are self-exalting. Because I am normally self-effacing, if there had been a way to say I achieved this or that, without a tinge of self praise, I would have adopted that approach. If there's anything like praise-singing in this book, then it is to God Almighty, and the good people He sent my way whom my achievements in life are centred around, certainly not me. I am only favoured by Him!
In that understanding therefore, I would advise my readers to ignore the urge to criticize my tendencies or seeming hyperboles and simply use my related experiences to moderate their own lives for good. They should see how I identified with and received the help of God, surmounted one obstacle after the other, and the successes that resulted from the struggles. That track is where the benefits lie.
But in the course of writing this book I had this inspiration to allow a few people who knew me closely enough to make some input. I particularly appealed to them not to ignore my weaknesses dwell too much on my strengths (if any). Understandably, I gave room first to my closest ally, my wife; then my children (biological or otherwise). I contacted one of my 'children' who worked with me sometime in the 1990's. As may have been observed at the beginning of this book, one of my greatest benefactors, Mrs Ogun, contributed the second foreward to the book after Bisi Ojediran's.
From what follows, my readers will agree that this book has been actually co-authored by many people (whom I appreciate for their frankness):
How I See My Husband
Before the arrival of Yemi into my life, my simple prayer of faith had been: “Lord, when I am ripe for marriage, please provide for me, a godly man who will care for me; who will not beat me or maltreat me in any way”. This prayer-point emanated from the fact that I was not pleased with the ways some of our tenants' maltreated their wives and by extension, their children. I didn't want to experience such at all.
Yemi caught me really young at about the age of 14 years. Then I was in JSS3 or so. For the seven years that we courted, and till I got married to him at the age of 21years, I did not really understand the full implications of marriage. My limited understanding of marriage was that it is a relationship where both parties have to assert their rights. Indeed I felt my work-life was more important than marriage because of the belief I had inculcated that once I had the money, a husband was secondary. My father emphasized to me the need for a woman to be as hard working as a man so that she will be able to fend for herself unassisted.
Though caring, I was somehow temperamental. I was on the very cautious side and did not want my seemingly caring disposition to be mistaken or interpreted to mean stupidity. Even when I had occasions to correct my children and those whom we are privileged to sojourn together under the same roof, I did it so harshly that my intent could have been misconstrued as being that of a difficult woman. It is not so. I am only very concerned about 'caution'.
I wanted everything done the way it should be done; that is, the way I wanted it - no half-measures! I encouraged people, especially children and the youths, to take initiatives, for by doing that, they would attain maturity themselves. Whenever I noticed any unacceptable trait in any child, I drive such child hard. In fact one of my children had so much of this, but I am happy he realized that it was not out of hatred!
I never felt comfortable with anybody outside my immediate and (sometimes) extended family members then. This attitude had been informed by Bible passages, such as “The heart of man is desperately wicked”, “Woe unto any man who puts his faith on human beings”. I was also so disposed because of the act of wickedness perpetrated by some characters in the Bible as well as those reported in the media. Newspapers are full of them on a daily basis! For this reason, I became very cautious about cultivating friends (especially female friends), the majority of whom I believed would use such closeness to give one wrong counsel that could ruin one's home. My attitude towards the girl-child generally is that she is more difficult to raise than boys; so I preferred to have boys instead. My prayer had been that if God decides to give me both sexes, fine, but I would prefer to have more boys than girls!
As if I was perfect myself or perhaps because of what I had imbibed from my Muslim background, I believed in the idea of “let anybody who commits any sin, receive the maximum punishment for his or her sin”! From this attitude Yemi developed an acronym, “TFT” (meaning Tit-for-Tat”), with which he teased me whenever I exhibited that trait. He even jokingly turned “TFT” to be a proverbial Church, of which I was the proverbial Pastor-Founder!
According to him he belongs to the “Freedom Church
That's one of the wonderful ways he brought me around to reasonableness without hurting me.
Indeed, as soon as our relationship started, my husband, Yemi, started to work relentlessly on me, using the word of God to disabuse my mind of misconceptions. This he did alongside the teachings he gave me in my academic pursuits. He took out quality time patiently to tutor me on the nature and expectations of God and man, and the need to adjust my attitude to suit the will of God for man, and reach out to people generally.
According to him, despite the Biblical passages and the myriad sad reports seeming to give credence to the wickedness of man, if treated well, man is generally good. He reasons that due to broken backgrounds, possibly arising from unfriendly social environments in which they grew up, some people become wicked. However, he sees their wickedness as an exception to the general rule by which God created man good, which makes man truly good.
He believes that all human beings need God as well as themselves to make some headway in life but to achieve that, one only needs to live right with God and network with good people.
He also believes that rather than wait to be treated well first by others, everybody should pioneer first the act of doing so to others! I testify that he takes the lead in this area. Wherever he goes, he creates a home for himself.
He points out that wicked as man may seem, he appreciates good gestures and is willing to reciprocate them if extended to him. He believes that relationship with people should NOT be based on expectations and rewards. Rather it should be based on true and unconditional love as Jesus Christ demonstrated through his own life. He has this philosophy of 'friendship for life', which, to him, is best for everybody.
Concomitant with his philosophy of life, whenever he notices the traits of inconsistency in any friend, he does not quarrel over the development but gradually withdraws his deep attachment to him or her, while maintaining the relationship and, surprisingly, puts the the person in his prayers for God to restore him or her with His grace.
On polygamy into which we were both born, he believes that its problem is not in the number of women or the children that constitute or comprise it. Rather its inherent turbulence arises from the fact that the women in it do not particularly love themselves. Naturally, they transfer their attendant bitterness to their children. His dispassionate role in his own polygamous homes, where he ensures that everybody is treated with unconditional love without discrimination - a practice he extended to my own family after our marriage, has taught me a lesson to live above sentiments in our dealings with all human beings, especially in a polygamous culture as in Africa . I am indeed surprised at his high commitment to his family, nuclear or extended. He drums it into us that God who created us into polygamous backgrounds deposited blessings therein for our benefit. Therefore, those who revolt in the circumstance or environment reject their ordained messianic roles in them!
Genuine love is the need for everyone to practise it wherever one finds oneself. That is his greatest gospel. Relying on the relevant provisions of the Bible, he teaches it to us in the family, day and night, and practically demonstrates it in everything he does - sometimes at the risk of everything he has!
Because he is trustworthy, the disposition attracts people to him from all spheres of life. He is, clearly, a crowd puller who enjoys the recognition (whenever he is not in isolation writing his books or carrying out his numerous researches), solving everyone's problems to the best of his means. He regards all his interactions with people in all spheres of human engagement no matter their ages as family, whom he treats equally. I was initially disturbed by this all-inclusive existence (for I considered him too plain for the Nigerian environment) but eventually accepted the situation as his natural inclination. He once told me: “I would most likely die early if I am not allowed to relate freely with people!”
He hates cheating and admonishes that “we can be rich without stealing”. He believes that people should endeavour to keep proper records of their properties so as to be able to explain themselves whenever the situation arises.
While he may be regarded as a core giver, he makes the distinction between a “Father Christmas” and a “purposeful” welfarer. Apart from his generosity due to “general love for people”, he likes to be convinced of the productive use to which his giving is put before committing himself.
If you offend him, rather than keep malice, he believes he could call you and tell you exactly where you went wrong and continue to relate with you as if there had been no ripple!
He has an especial soft spot for women and children whom he sees as vulnerable victims in our society. He therefore encourages me to own properties as much as I can and supports me in doing so.
Another unique quality of Yemi is his ability to tame people no matter how difficult they may be. So he can cope with all manner of men, women and children. He simply operates at their levels and thereby registering himself in their hearts in no time at all! I am not gifted with such patience!
He's delighted when people visit but upset if they are ill-treated or mistreated. Until amends are made, he will continue to worry! So to avoid embarrassment, you must treat visitors correctly and his definition of proper treatment is 'total comfort'!
Yemi has some weaknesses like everyone else. For instance, when he decides to talk, he does so ceaselessly but when he chooses to keep quiet, he's withdrawn, dumb and irritating!
He's a restless fellow too. I have had to appeal to him to have days when he rests and eats properly. Each time we served his food, we are very cautious about the size. If, in trying to please him and make him eat well, the food exceeds a certain measure, he would not eat the food. He would simply complain that we have succeeded in spoiling his appetite! If the salt is not enough or a little bit more than necessary, he might not eat food! The position of our bed shifts according to his mood and the whole house is re-organised endlessly! He pays serious attention to details.
On the spiritual side, I see him as deep-rooted in the word of God, yet he claims as far as the understanding of the Bible is concerned 'I am a novice'. I think the Bible is his sustenance and driving force.
He manages to harmonise his love for me with his obsession for (and addiction to) his electronic gadgets (computers of all shades, sophisticated handsets, desktops, palm-tops, etc), which he treasures so much and with which he acomplishes feats. He is very sensitive about these gadgets and his books! Above all, he loves taking what I call 'positive risks'!
His ability to effectively manage crises was fully demonstrated through the way he prayerfully and coolheadedly managed the change of name sometimes in the early 1990's apparently without hurting anybody, even in the face of provocation!
I must confess that Yemi is the one who actually opened me up to several facets of life (how to relate with extended families, children, neighbours,etc) and still continues to expand my understanding even as I write.
Whatever successes I may have recorded in my marriage and in some other areas of life, I achieved them because he has good visions for his home. I identify with those visions, as he has done with mine. No doubt Yemi is an asset to all.
- Mary
Our Father, As We Know Him
My dad is a man, a real man if you know what I mean. He is made in the image of God indeed and I really thank God for him as I observe his many virtues , apart from his discipline, maturity and fatherly love. He leads us by example and, as his son, I know that his example is a great challenge for me now and in the future.
I don't think I have found a better example of a true father, a loving husband, and a family-oriented man than him. He makes his mistakes sometimes, but admits his flaws too. However, such natural shortcomings haven't diminished his being loving. He has truly laid a great example of self-development for us all. Whatever he has done in the family, he has always carried my mother particularly along. Any decision he has taken concerning the home or whatever he tells us about anything, he always concludes with “Your mother and I have discussed and this is our conclusion…” .
Another delight for the family is that he speaks our local dialect fluently with our mum and we are able to share because the rest of us have been taught well in the use of language. I thank God for making him my mother's loving husband who has cared for us the way only a good father could have done.
- Olumide
I cant' really write all I know about this man called Yemi Omogboyega than to say he is a worthy father. He emerged from a poor home. He never allowed poverty to rule his life. He had his setbacks. He was determined to attain greater heights academically, economically and spiritually.
He emerged from a poor home. He never allowed poverty to rule his life. He had his setbacks. He was determined to attain greater heights academically, economically and spiritually. I do not know much about his past, except what I read from the first edition of his book, “Better Tomorrow” published when I was 5 years old (which I got hold of). He is a man who could be confided in.
The bottom line of his success in life is the Bible, which is one and the most important thing he used in guiding and bringing us up. Though he is the head of the family, decisions in the family are taken collectively through dialogue and mutual agreement.
He's a man who has time for his family despite his workload. He devotes time for his children and his family. He corrects lovingly when it is needed and frowns seriously at laziness and whoever jeopardizes his education and spirituality. Though I personally was a “bone in his neck”, he made me 'flesh' through God's word and his persistence, now. Now I testify to his capability of being a good father. When I speak to my friends and learn about their own backgrounds, I have reason to always thank God for the kind of man he made my father!
The times I don't like to see him is when he is angry because he sets fear in the mind of the culprit, even if the culprit wants to confess. He lays so much emphasis on the offence that the culprit is forced to keep quiet till he calms down. But I think he still empathises. His positive influence in our entire families is overwhelming. Though man cannot be satisfied, he tries his best economically, academically, and spiritually.
As I said earlier, I can only write on him limitedly because God knows him best. His attitude isn't new to me because it had been revealed to me in a dream when I was less than two years old that the family I was in was the best I could ever be and it later turned out to be so ever since.
I pray that Dad lives long enough to be able to impart this legacy on many, and we should be able to do as he did, in Jesus name. If God would be that faithful, I pray that God gives me the grace to be able to truly appreciate him during his lifetime.
” - Muyiwa
“For the first 15 years of my life, which I have spent with my father, I have learnt a lot from him, and he has had a lot of positive impact on my life in that time.
First and foremost, my father is loving, caring, kind and tender-hearted . He has exhibited these qualities not only to his biological children but also to his aged parents, other members of the larger family as a whole and to people around him in general.
His first act of love, has been to send us, all his children to good schools for proper education, and he has taken time to assess our performance at school almost every day. He reminds us constantly that examiners who set our question papers are human beings and that such questions have correct answers, which can be arrived at diligently without resorting to cheating. He has always assured us of his assistance to enable us do well in the examinations but he would never subscribe to or tolerate cheating, nor beg or bribe his way for us to secure admission to any higher institutions!
Just as he encourages us, so also he doles out discipline to us on the other hand as he advises us on very many issues of life. He demonstrates this evenhandedness also to his extended families - every member he attends to whenever the need arises. Indeed he actively cultivates the harmony that exists between the families.
Secondly, even if I am the one saying so, my father is a God-fearing person, a disposition, he told us, that generated from the early religious teaching his mother gave to him which wisdom he, in turn, was obliged to pass on to us for our benefit.
He makes sure that everyone in his household puts God first in everything and that they participate in the things of God in the church.
My first reality of my father's determination and visionis the fear of God in him which enables him not to get angry easily and, even in such a state, he would never abuse or curse anybody because such attitude is against the will of God. Another thing I have learned from my father is that he tries to keep the right relationship with everyone including neighbours.
He is a prolific writer as his numerous fast-moving books, which touch the lives of people, attest to this fact.
Lastly, one of the most lovely aspects of my father is his focus on a vision-driven life. The oral history of his life that makes the round in family circles is that from his youth, my father has relentlessly tried to curb poverty in the family. Even as I write, we the children (biological or otherwise) have constituted ourselves into a “ Poverty Eradication Committee”. This Committee was headed by my Uncle and name sake, Olasunkanmi Kolawole. Encouragingly, Dad has assigned us a theoretical project to debate extensively on poverty, its causes and how to alleviate it (!) which would be subject to his periodic review.
The reason for doing this engagement, according to Dad, is for us to be aware, early in our lives, of the many tentacles and ramifications of poverty and learn how, not only to conquer it but plug, forever, all the holes of its possible recurrence in the family! His children's early sustainability was his shocking declaration when I was about ten years old that, all things being equal, we (his biological or non-biological children) would quit his house by the time we were 25 years old to be on our own! At that time, I had challenged him that he couldn't have been serious with his statement but he had dared me to disregard the warning. The effect was that I was triggered to study hard so that I could pass all my exams before the expiration of his ultimatum and secure good employment so I can be on my own!
He has been a wonderful father.”
- Sunkanmi
“My father is a man who takes his time to give us moral lessons.
He buys quality materials for me. He cares for me and he makes sure nobody beats me when I do something wrong because he believes that you don't need to beat a child before he changes for the better. He believes that it is better to talk to the child than to beat him for every mistake he makes.
. He is a man who has a vision and plans for all his children. He is a simple man. He does not allow wastage in his house. For instance he is always annoyed when we waste food. He pays our school fees on time and buys us all our books. He checks our class work everyday and tells us not to cheat in our examinations. He says we can pass our examinations if we read hard and that he wants us to be the best and that is why he buys all our books for us, give us light to read and sit with us to discuss everything with us. He prays for us all the time.
One day he told us we must leave his house at the age of 25 years! I didn't like that but he has since explained it to me and I now understand his reason so that we will not be lazy! I am now working to be on my own before that age and God will help me.
He is the best teacher that has ever taught me in the teens class in our Church. My father loves his wife. I like to be like him when I grow up.”
- Olatunbosun
He Moulded My Life!
I lived with him at a crucial period in my life - a period when I needed to be given a purposeful direction - immediately after completing my Secondary School Education.
The man, MR. JOHN OMOGBOYEGA, is an icon of wisdom, which I believe is supernaturally endowed upon him by God Almighty. Knowing him is like discovering an oil well, which brings about general turn around and life changing circumstance, whenever you believe in his principle of life generally. He is a man who believes that it is not when you are born with silver spoon that your name can be among the Hallmark of fame; rather, he believes that a man can work out his own destiny with God supporting him.
One of his philosophies is that the one legacy a man can leave for his children is EDUCATION. According to him, it is only God, education and hard-work that can break the backbone of poverty and social intimidation. He taught us thoroughly on how to free ourselves from the shackles of poverty and ignorance.
His book, “BETTER TOMORROW” (the 1992 edition which I was priviledged to read when I lived with him) revealed to me that only the fools do not believe about tomorrow because, each day lived, keeps the future in suspense, hence the journey to tomorrow. This book is a Fountain of Life. It charted a good course for my life. I was doubly blessed because I witnessed him live what he preached, and he personally taught me day and night the fear of God, hard work, and appreciation of people. Today, his personality is registered in my person!
-Kazeem Ojo Olanipekun
He Has The Right Answer to Every Question!
I am Mrs Adebimpe Aruna (nee Adewole). I met Mr.Omogboyega in January, 1999, when I was introduced to him by my Uncle, Mr. Joseph Oluokun, his friend. Then I was on National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) and had to serve in his office. He was my Team Leader but soon my relationship with him graduated to that between a father and his daughter He integrated me, embracing my brother Michael who graduated at the same time with me from the University of Jos
Mr. Omogboyega has become my mentor and my role model too. I learnt so much from him during my service year. He weaned me into integrity management and administrative skills that have become invaluable to me wherever I work. It is a hallmark of his inductive grooming that determination and persistency in whatever one does guarantees success in life. He used to tell me that whatever the disadvantages of one's background, it should not be allowed to foreclose one's success in life. He said that what mattered was belief in one's capacity to make it in life through hard work and a strong will, such that even the sky is one's beginning! He seemed to have answers to most concerns, from the spiritual to the secular!
However, he has a 'weakness', if you will call it that! He does not tolerate laziness or the flighty female preoccupied with relationship with the opposite sex during the work period!
He was very patient with me, and corrected errors with compassion and a detailed explanation of how they occur and how to avoid their recurrence. He cherishes humility a lot. His general attitude at work as a leader was like 'he was actually handing over' his office as a legacy to the younger generation, so that as you grew in your responsibilities, he gave you more room to bring out the best in you.
At home, he has remained a loving father and husband too, who pursues his children's education while carrying his wife along in all he does. One thing he always says about his wife is: “my wife is my best partner!”. Another unique circumstance of his life is that his house was always full of people. I was not surprised at this though, because his nature was such that many people like to associate with him.
Finally, the manifestation of the divine grace upon his life which enables him to virtually work round the clock, always armed with the latest information technology! As he has been to me, Mr. Omogboyega is a mentor and role model for the youth.
Chapter 59
I am Grateful!
To God
It is good to be with you O' Lord,
It is good to praise you always
For you are the Merciful God of All
O Lord, I will ever praise you
For your unqualified mercies
Showered upon me
And for the inestimable love
You bestow upon me always
You have focused on my very self
Your handiwork, Your image
And given me priceless wisdom
And the vision
With which you freely endowed me
When I reflect
Upon those moments of distress
seeming hopelessness in my
life as a lone struggler,
And how you brought me forth
I will ever praise you
For your undaunting support
And protection
Like David,
I told you my plans
And You acted swiftly
I thank you for my past
For my present
And in advance, for my future.
You called Abraham “Father of Faith”
You called Moses “Apple of My Eyes”
You called Jesus “My Beloved Son”
You called Yemi “My Favoured Child”
I thought I was nothing
But You called me Somebody
I may have a zero-balanced Bank Account
I own everything I own on credit basis
I am grateful for even making me credit worthy in the first place
I am grateful for though I borrow today,
I will soon be a net lender to nations!
I am rich in Your Glory
Your Peace in me is like a flowing River
Source source keeps on supplying freshness to my existence
You make my life meaningful
You brought me for some purposes
To care for people is one of them
It all started with my parents
You make me an asset to them
Even the one that is dead died happy!
The ones still alive
Continue to see Your hands in their lives
You gave me the key to 'hold on' to their lives
Not until I ask them to go,
You never call them to You!
You did say concerning me:
“Whoever Touches or Cheats you will receive my vengance!”
And I have seen it happen on several occasions!
You bless all the works of my hands!
Above all, You gave me the greatest commodity to market -
“Your Word”
You followed it with uncontrollable positive inspirations
That produce many books all at the same time
You give me a multi-purpose woman to marry
(Sometimes a wife, all the time a mother, a friend, a sister, a daughter, an associate,
a critique, a girlfriend, an auntie … too many angles to capture in a book)
You radiate beauty in her such that her face brightens my day!
You give me children who are zealous for You
Your Ministers from their mother's Womb!
That is a major source of joy to me!
You surround me with many more spirit-filled children
Polygamous house is death to many
Inside it you planted me
You make it a place of unparalleled joy for me
You make my brothers and sisters truly friends
So, our mothers were mere vessels
But our unity and love know no boundary!
You Banished poverty from our lineage
Currently we are in a 'comfort zone'
Whereas You are taking us all to 'a flourishing zone'!
Thank you in advance for we know we are there already!
I worship You, I adore You, My Lord, My God, My creator,
My provider, Awimayehun, Asoro matase, Oyigiyigi, Oba to ju Oba lo
Kaa bi yesi Re ooo! Olodumare!
To All My Friends Indeed
This is my special "Thank YOU"
To you all who
Today I can remember for good
For the appreciable contributions
Morally, socially and economical,
For making my dreams
Of a BETTER TOMORROW
A reality
For the struggling lots,
At this stage of my life,
I now believe firmly
That nothing succeeds like success
And success can be attained
Only through faith in God
Friendliness to humanity
And hard work
With strong determination to succeed
For there is no crown
Without a cross
To My Friends in Dismay
I have often heard a people say
"These enemies of mine
Will not allow me progress
Every step I take, they frustrate"
I assure you enemies there may be
Because you think you have some
Otherwise, those you refer to as such
Dictate the pace
Of your Progress in life
In the Holy Bible,
They did it to Joseph
Also to Job
But rather than fail,
These men triumphed
They realised God's plan
For their lives.
They did it to Jesus Christ
But God be praised!
Jesus accomplished his goal
To "finish" the work of our salvation!
Today, it may be you
And then me
God watches them
So that we may accomplish
His plans for us
And His glory will shine upon us
If only we have faith in Him
Aren't these "enemies"
Your greatest friends
Who, simply put, appear like foes
And to whom you should remain grateful?
As for me, I say a big 'Thank You' to them.
Chapter 60
I Am Fulfilled!
With this book successfully completed, published
And released to the entire world,
I feel a sense of a great achievement
It is a great milestone achieved in my voyage through this world
I feel truly joyous, I feel great.
That I am going to positively touch people's lives
All over the universe
I am convinced that the spirit of the Lord
Will open my readers' hearts and minds
To the truth about life
And by granting them understanding
That will free them all
From the shackles of life
If only this happens with this book
Then I have left a mark
In the sands of time
I am fulfilled!
THE END
“Readers of this book are bound to form opinions and attitudes about this central episode, but the larger point that is clearly established is Omogboyega’s Socratesian realization that “man must know himself.”
- Reuben Abati
THIS THING CALLED MARRIAGE You have only one life to live, Don’t court a failed marriage in your existence. How do you court right? Below are the highlights of some issues discussed extensively in the this book: · The right age to marry · Views on Issues of Life · Virginity · Marrying from A Broken Home · Marrying from A Polygamous Home · Marrying a Widow or a Widower · Marrying A Married Man or Woman · Beliefs (not religion) · Faith and The “Leading of The Spirit” · The True Nature of Individuals · Professional Calling · Family Planning (Or Family Size) · Extended Families · Sexual Satisfaction · Sexual Appetite · Education · Religion · Inter-Tribal or Inter-Racial Marriage · Age Disparity · Young Girls Marrying Old Men · Maintaining a Joint Account · Marrying A Divorcee · Physical Beauty · Character Beauty · Wealth · Medical issues · - genotype · HIV status · Infertility · Some hereditary diseases to be avoided · Need for parental consent (Reputable Distributors wanted) | ||
Grab Your copy of “A Galery of Positive Thoughts” What positive use have you made of your thoughts? Positive thoughts are what give people direction in life. They create millionaires. This book makes concise and categorical statements on such serious issues as marriage, leadership, management, religion, conflicts, music, the changing world, poverty, examination malpractice, the fragile nature of the girl-child lesbianism, homosexuality, as well as polygamy, etc It is aimed at sensitizing and focusing readers on the fact that what they think is what they become. A reader has observed thus “You can never tell how many people you will and have even impacted by your thoughts” (Reputable Distributors wanted) | ||
Family Budgeting, A Must For Your Family The marriage institution is certainly not for the lazy! To make it easier, every aspect of life can be reduced to figures. In that pursuit, Yemi Omogboyega has opened a new chapter on marital issues. In the above book, he postulates one of those magic figures when he discusses the uses of budgeting as a key tool to foster better understanding or relationship between married couples. He argues that budgeting will eliminate wasteful spending, open up partners to themselves, create avenue for investment, remove suspicion and improve relationship generally. This book is indeed a cornerstone for family peace. Call, Text or e-mail your inquiries to us at 08035200143 (Yemi) or 08035200122 (Mary) or e-mail us at joent2002@yahoo.com (Reputable Distributors wanted) | ||
You Can’t Do Without “BETTER TOMORROW”! If your vision is for a better tomorrow Then nothing must stop you from getting there Whatever you are facing now is temporary The author of “Better Tomorrow’ proves that in the book. Your biological fatherhood or motherhood does not determine what you become in life. No child is illegitimate for everyone has a traceable father. Indeed ever child is a child of God. The Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria has abolished ‘illegitimacy; However, as soon as you discover your biological origin, don’t waste your time to consolidate the relationship by bearing his name. Forgive your Dad or Mum who neglected you. “I lost my biological origin, but at 36 years of age, I recovered it and changed my name” says the author of Better Tomorrow” Forgive your Uncle, Auntie, Cousins, Guardian, who failed to train you. Take your destiny in your own hands make yourself who or what God wants you to be – a great person! If it is not the will of God that they will do so, they will labour in vain. If at all they do it, they will claim glory for themselves later and that will hurt you. But those that God might have sent to lift you up will do so without strings attached to it and will give the glory to God for using them. “I had people who could and were willing to train me to the University but they were (mysteriously) not permitted to do so – by the special grace of God and with the help of non-blood relatives, good employers, etc, I had to train myself from primary six until I become a become a qualified Lawyer, a certified Human Resource expert, an Author of many books, and more importantly, a committed child of God in His vineyard. You need to find out how I did it. My conviction is that if I can do it, you can do it also,” says the author of Better Tomorrow. A girl’s most tempting period is between the ages of 12 and 18 years. Then’s when she can make or unmake herself for life! Find out how in “Better Tomorrow” As young boys or bachelors, holding one’s body is a major problem. “I was once in that position. It looks stupid to see pretty girls and consciously avert one’s eyes from them? How do you hold your body? Find out from “Better Tomorrow”. Wants to marry? Where do you choose from? That you choose a partner from the church does not necessarily translate to choosing right! Not every girl in the church is your better half! What must you do (beyond praying) to find the right partner? Do you know that once your first marriage fails, your life is permanently and adversely altered? Find out what you can do so as not to experience divorce in “Better Tomorrow”. “On parenting issues, I am on my third decade of a successful marriage. I am experienced enough to guide you on how to develop a vision for your home, bring up your children well to tackle the knotty issues of extended families: brother or sisters-in-law, mothers-in-law; and all the stakeholders to your marital relationship. How did I manage all these people and what were the results? Find out from !”Better Tomorrow”. Is it worth it sending your children to boarding schools? Is religion a fiction and in the midst of the conflicting religions, how do you choose right? Find out from “Better Tomorrow”. With constant power failure, no pipeborne water, incessant school shutdowns, almost impossibility of gaining admission into higher institutions of learning, uncertain economic climate, inadequate accommodation, bad road networks, law enforcements (the police, customs officers, LASTMA, FERMA, KAI, etc), tax payment without commensurate benefits, examination malpractices, and so on, would you consider Nigeria as a friend or foe?. How should parents and children treat themselves? . Better Tomorrow answers all these questions? | ||
My Life
Is In My Hands
There are seven stages of life. These are birth, education, career, marriage, retirement, death and history. How do you focus your attention on making the best out of these stages of your life?
There are four resources that God has given to us to resolve all the issues facing us in life. They are God Himself, Time, Vision and talents? How do we combine these to make our lives successful?
There are uncountable number of destiny busters working relentlessly to stop us from reaching our destinies. They distract us, from facing the reality. The make us to fail in life. What are these destiny busters and how do you tackle them? 29 of them were exhaustively treated in the book “My Life is In My Hands”
Your parents may love you so much to the point of negatively changing your destiny! Find out how in “My Life is In My Hands”
Through your wrong beliefs, you can be your own greatest enemy! “My Life Is In My Hands” tackles this question.
People who don't read books tend to find life boring, dull and their lives are static. So cultivate a reading habit! Yemi Omogboyega
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