Chapter 47
My First Trip
Outside Africa
With all the activities I had on my plate, my life had become a pressure cooker and I urgently needed a respite. Having concluded my study project therefore, I had time to consider, afresh, opportunities (which I had long been offered but pushed aside) to have the much needed leisure in a short, recuperative vacation overseas. My younger brother and the Ajayi family, both in the United States of America
Before this time, I had a subsisting valid visa to the USA USA
With such a possibility at the back of our minds, we were particularly careful therefore in the handling of my travel documents and at every stage of the boarding process at the airline check-in, immigration and customs counters as well as at the boarding point at the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Ikeja, on the night of my flight to the USA. Coincidentally I ran into two of my colleagues at the airport, namely Andrew Umoru and a lady with her child, whom, to my personal embarrassment, I could not then pigeonhole. Although she greeted me warmly, I was too shy to ask for any clarification.
Our flight was by the Dutch Airline, KLM, and, for me, it meant that I would have a change of aircraft or airline in Amsterdam Holland USA
Life In The Aircraft
In the aeroplane, we had an adequate supply of newspapers in various languages. As soon as we took off, I conditioned my mind to cope with a six-hour non-stop flight in the biggest plane (as at that date) I had ever used in my life as a means of transportation.
However, I was very much used to the Dorniers, and the various other sizes of aircraft used by the numerous domestic Airlines in Nigeria
Again, I wondered whether the designers of these monstrous craft ever valued human life at all. If they did, why should they choose the dead of night for such a trip? Supposing there was an accident; how would the rescue experts get to the spot. These ignorant thoughts were a product of my nervousness!
Anyway I relied on God for journey mercies, irrespective of the time of day or the terrain (air, land or sea) or the vehicle (bike, foot, car, aircraft, train, ship, tram, boat, etc) I might use as a meansin such a journey. Unless God kept us, all the safety procedures reeled out to us prior to our departure would have meant nothing if real danger had emerged!
Finally, the Pilot and his crew began their work. We taxied for a while on the runway and the aircraft, which had looked to me like a dormant albatross, gained tremendous speed and lifted off the ground rather gracefully into the sky!
As soon as we attained the appropriate altitude previously announced, the bell sounded and the air Hostesses began to serve us all sorts of food. That was good and timely for me because I had not taken my dinner before our departure. The smart ladies, a mixture of the young and the matured as well as some men, were very neat, polite and prompt. The menu on offer was elaborate and it covered everyone's taste. We were plied continually with the goodies until I was eventually forced to turn down every smiling gesture of more service with a polite “No, thank you”.
As we cruised on, the pilot passed on to us necessary journey information as to weather conditions, and location! I was always apprehensive if the announcements were about the so-called air bumps which were a reminder of the local Nigerian flights I had often found upsetting. So whenever we were told we were going to encounter some, I would silently invite “Jesus to calm them down” to make our journey a smooth one. We experienced an occasional shuddering but not as turbulent as I was used to back home in Nigeria
The television sets alternated their programmes between film shows, flight information and the normal CNN news. Except for the plane's throbbing engines, I felt totally at home. I slept long enough but whenever I was awake, we were still cruising! The flight appeared interminable!
There was nothing to see except crystals of light as we passed over some cities in the darkeness!
Eventually, when we we approached Amsterdam
Finally, at about 6 a.m. , we touched down at Schippol Airport Amsterdam
Andrew, my friend, was proceeding to another part of the USA Amsterdam Airport New York
My Impressions About Amsterdam
Schippol airport, Amsterdam Netherlands
To kill the six-hour delay for my next flight, I happily trudged through the airport's portals for as far as was permissible. Its entire complex, interspersed with giant escalators that conveyed the milling crowds of travellers and workers to the different levels of the airport structure, worked seamlessly as both a tourist hub and a market of all goods imaginable! The reasonable prices of wares on display in the shops of such a sosphisticated environment comparatively confirmed not only the high degree of exploitation our business people subject Nigerians to at home for the same goods but also the operable solid value and finely weighted system of the European society vis-à-vis our wrecked or non-existent social system!
We Arrived At JFK Airport New York
In the process of immigration clearance at the JFK, New York USA
I then asked the supervising immigration officer to enable me use the public address system of the airport to contact my hosts who were probably waiting outside but my request was politely turned down whilst I was warned that until I provided a specific address I would not be allowed to depart from the arrival hall area.
All this while, I observed from the corner of my eye the lady I mentioned earlier (from Lagos Amsterdam USA
It was after I had recovered from the shock of my short-lived dilemma that I recalled my home dream of a lost document! That was what my merciful God had forewarned me about, but true to His faithful nature, He still made a way out for me in the end!!
JFK's Airport
When I had seen Schippol Airport Amsterdam JFK Airport North Carolina New York City Africa , was not visible, despite reports that Nigerians, particularly, were often so mistreated. Apart from my form-filling fiasco earlier reported, I did not witness any contrary behaviour on grounds of colour or race. Even at the point of exit, the white customs officer simply wanted to know what was in my bag and I confidently and calmly told him, “dry foods, dry fish, my clothes…”. Politely, he requested that I open my computer bag; as I did so, he jokingly commended the quality of the diary in it and we laughted over it. He asked me to open one of the suitcases. As I reached for the key from my wallet and bent down to the suitcases, he thanked me and politely released me. Back home in Nigeria
On the 7th Day of April, 2003, to God's glory, I set my foot down on arguably the world's bigggest conurbation - New York City North Carolina
When I had used a phone card to dial my host's number, Busola and Tunde had promptly informed me that they, with their seemingly welcoming Committee, were nearby to pick me up shortly. Actually, I might have literally walked into their waiting embrace but for the minor accident they had on their long drive to New York City Nigeria
With their enthusiastic reception, I felt very comfortable. Then we drove round the city for a while before finally arriving at Sister Yemi's apartment. It was a beautiful house located in a quiet area. There I had my first taste in New York City Brooklyn , not far away from a Juvenile Court where we passed the night.
My recollection of New York City
Traffic lights and cameras were installed in all the streets and they were effectively controlling the traffic while, I believed, all those cameras were functional. I could see that every driver observed and obeyed their traffic signals. The streets were wide. However, the city appeared to be far more choked up than Lagos Lagos New York City New York City New York City United States of America
Our Journey To North Carolina
At about 8 am the next day, 8th of April, we began our 12-hour trip from New York City North Carolina Maryland Virginia North Carolina
Lived-in wooden houses seemingly hugged, unprotected, the edges of the motorways in a bewitching panorama. The trilling forests along the way danced in the soothing breeze like a tribute to the unadulterated environment! I kept wondering if, in Nigeria
We travelled serenely and endlessly without feeling any road bumps, nor were we stopped along the highway or affronted by a policeman whom we did not encounter in looming and haughty contraventions that are the reckless order of the day on Nigerian roads. In America
Were one to detail the level of social differences between America Nigeria
Like all Caucasian societies, heterogeneous America
Reflections
As I made these observations, I wondered about the nature of our lives in Nigeria United States of America USA United States Nigeria United States of America United States of America
We finally arrived at our destination - Burham , North Carolina
I was very elated with my reception and pinched myself for assurance that I was indeed in the USA Nigeria
However, overriding every consideration was my realisation that my circumstance was a confirmation of the need for unbroken unity in family relationships. What was being re-enacted wayout in America Nigeria
However, unlike in Nigeria
Busola and Tunde pleasantly surprised me and practically stayed with me all through my stay. I took so much food and they pleased me with as much fruits of my choice as my stomach would accept; yet the more I thought I had eaten, the more they complained that I was not eating enough! Busola provoked my deep emotions when one day she observed the 'wild-cat' nails on my toes. She sat down on the floor and trimmed them to something acceptable to behold! Indeed they purchased for me virtually all the things I gave out back home in Nigeria
Throughout my stay, it was invitation galore to and from their neighbours and friends all over the place. The first person to visit me was the Ajayi's Pastor who ushered me in with spirit-filled prayers. My first outing was on the invitation by the Kolawoles. This was followed by a visit to the Onabanjos, and then the Olaleyes. On such visits, the reception was presidential in nature. The cuisines offered made me feel bigger than I am, for their richness and cheerful presentation. Every of my activities in all the places I visited, every gesture I made and all the contrived social do's were faithfully videotaped by the Onabanjos (thanks to Michael who did the videographing). To all of them and the family who later sent the processed film to me afterwards in Nigeria
On the day I was returning to Nigeria, as I was about boarding a New York-bound luxury Greyhounds bus, Mr & Mrs. Olaleye met me in the park and gave me a package of assorted pomade which my family and I used for a whole year thereafter as a parting gift!
In retrospect, I can only reconfirm my abiding gratitude for their marvellous and spontaneous hospitality and pray that God in His infinite mercies will honour them, favour them, bless them, cater for them and be everything to them forever. Amen.
My Second Dream
Two days before I left for Nigeria
I was dead wrong! But first, the Ajayis had forewarned me not to accept any baggage from any co-traveller for whatever reason and I had agreed. At the JFK Airport, New York, I watched over my three heavy boxes like a hawk as a result of what I thought about my aforementioned dream.
Lest I forget, when I compared the services rendered to its customers and the environment in which Greyhounds Transport Company operated, I could discern clearly the visions of our big-time transporters in Nigeria like the Ekene Dili Chukwus, The Youngs, etc, who are frantically experimenting on such good ventures but efforts are being thwarted by the inadequate environment they are in. Throughout the night that we journeyed from North Carolina New York City Nigeria
In spite of this down-to-earth occurrence, which was a touch of American imperfection,, I kept on asking myself, Lord, why the vast difference in standards compared to Nigeria
The Meaning of My Dream
As I was saying, I was at JFK airport watching over my luggages when a gentleman, a Yoruba, introduced himself to me as a Pastor. He then politely requested that I assist him to bear one of his baggages, which, according to him, contained Bibles. Disarmed and offguarded by his profession, I merely asked to see his Passport. He obliged, also showing me his Church's identity Card. They appeared genuine and I photographed them with the digital camera of my Nokia 7650 phone and stored them away. I forgot my earlier pledge following my hosts' warning.
I later checked in all that belonged to me and then added his own baggage. This bag would not pass the electronic scanners, repeatedly indicating that something was wrong in its contents. It had to be set aside and I was consequently asked to wait! At that juncture, I beckoned to the Pastor-friend and informed him of the development. I then handed over the bag to him. Meanwhile, the officials duly ransacked the bag and they found a pair of brand new electric shaver, which was promptly removed from the bag. Being a metallic object, the scanning machine would not tolerate it. After producing the receipt with which he bought it, he was asked to 'go upstairs' for further clearance. As a result, he left his remaining things in my care. His isolation lasted until boarding began and I had to be at the tail-end of the resultant queue. When he showed up, the shaving kit had been seized by the authorities.
I tell these stories of my dreams because God has a way of revealing the future to his children in advance to prompt them to pray and be vigilant. I also want to validate the divine assurance that whenever we prayed, God always answers such prayers to prevent what is revealed from overcoming us. It is also to point out that whatever we do, whatever precaution we take, we are far from being perfect and are prone to miscalculations that are sometimes dangerous to our well-being. I have wondered why I could not promptly say “No” to my airport acquaintance, despite the forewarning I had! What would have been my fate if he had carried any of those dreaded, universally banned items thus implicating me vicariously. May God be praised for His continued mercies and favour upon my life.
Because of the airline I took my return flight had to stop-over again at Amsterdam America Amsterdam Nigeria Sahara Desert the 17th of April, 2003 , at about 7 p.m. or so, we landed safely at the Murtala Muhammed Airport
I was then totally refreshed to face up to my mother's burial which had been fixed for Saturday, 26th April - a process we started in earnest.
Chapter 48
Back To
My Mother's Burial
Help Came from Above!
Before I proceeded on my vacation abroad, Emma and I had agreed on a minimum budget for my mother's burial.
The first surprise was Emma's pledge to contribute one-third of the budget. I was then left with shouldering the rest. Then came another miracle: my elder sister's husband, Mr. Kolawole, unilaterally pleged a cow! In unstoppable order, a gift of N137,000 (one hundred and thirty seven thousand naira) came from someone who would wish to remain anonymous! My in-laws were not left out. All these reduced our in-house expenses and we husbanded the windfall. Those were just at the beginning. As the day drew closer and closer, more assistance poured in. For instance, my paternal siblings gave us a Cow! High Chief Esan, a big goat! All these excluded cash gifts from them and many more good people too numerous to mention here.
The very affectionate Omoobas, offered us the free use of their comfortable house with all facilities therein. They also supported it with cash gift. This no doubt eased accommodation problem for us and our invitees as much as it saved very much on hiring hotel accommodation!
Many people, too numerous to list, gave me large sums of money in cash and in kind.
Again my only acknowledgement of their generousity is to express my profound gratitude to everyone for honouring not only my late mother, but also my twin families and to wish divine control of their own affairs.
The Wake & Last Honour
Mum's body was taken round ceremonially in customary celebration by the bearers, accompanied by a band. It was a grand display and truly befitting. First, she was laid in state in her parents' house; then to the Omogboyegas and finally, to the Ilugbusis, where she stayed overnight.
Two major observations amazed me during that occasion. First, everything had been on an even keel when my elder brother and sisters had been taking their turns at the dancing stage. Then, when I took the floor, the glory of God manifested more than expected as all my children (biological and non-biological) surrounded me and showered me with every kobo in their pockets, while dancing joyously with me. At that stage, to my surprise, people from all walks of life swarm around me jubilating, dancing and in a frenzied demonstration of solidarity! They hugged me collectively and individually. The tempo of the songs and the drumming attained a transcendental dimension and a struggle ensued between the young and the old alike in the attempt to dance with me personally on the stage! I was overwhelmed at the magnitude of the demonstration of love for me in an environment where I had been treading with caution! At the end of the open outpouring of affection, as I returned to my seat, I heard one of my sisters, Florence
I Am Free!
The other remarkable incident shortly after the dance was the surprise invitation from a leading member of the Ilugbusi family (name withheld) that I share a drink with him, in the same cup! He tasted the drink first and then handed the cup to me to do likewise, even though I am not given to palmwine drinking. I proceeded promptly to appreciate him by tasting the wine and respectfully returned the cup to him after which he declared
“Ope, you are truly our child and lover; continue to walk and mix freely with us. By the special grace of God, you have nothing to fear from anyone as nothing shall by any means harm you”.
He then openly prayed for me on behalf of the entire Ilugbusi's family, to which everyone present elatedly chorused “Amen”!
The Formal Union of The Ilugbusis and the Omogboyegas
That was what God did, again, for me during Mum's wake. The Almighty used the occasion to permanently cement the relationship between the Ilugbusis and the Omogboyegas! That was an occasion that formally brought many members of both families rejoicing together!
Chief Akinlabi Ilugbusi, the head of the Ilugbusi family, voluntarily, in honour of my late mother, deprived himself of comfort, vacated his room to make the parlour free from any obstruction. He remained outside, participating actively in the joys of the day. His sisters, Mrs. Mofola, Gbemile and Mojisola, were all actively involved. The Omotoyinbos, Messrs. Samuel Ayelabola, Idowu and John, were all actively present. The wives in the Ilugbusi's Family, their Customary Police, actively performed their duties!
The Adenigbas apart from heavy cash gifts, physically went to the market to help buy and promptly deliver all the four cows we used during the occasion.
The Ibitoyes featured actively. Desola and Ayo with their husbands featured prominently on all the occasions. Bose and her partner too were not left out! I missed the physical absence of Remi and Bunmi,( his wife) but I must say that the husband made very appreciable contributions (on phone) to the plans and he actively financed the execution.
At that moment, I hoped my mother saw for herself what had happened, for which I knew she would have held a special thanksgiving service on the very following Sunday in celebration (we did that on her behalf anyway!).
So, contrary to my initial fears, God had, again, worked things together for me and upheld the efficacy of prayers, which I had resorted to in my hour of need.
The Burial and the Socials
The following morning, after the normal farewell church service was held in her honour, she was taken to her final resting place at the CAC Cemetary, along Ado-Ekiti Road
The caterers from Lagos
During our exuberant joyfulness, one miscreant tried to mar the occasion that was (actually being) policed from heaven, by dipping his devilish hands into my pocket and stealing a fat envelope containing the sum of N10,000 which had been given to me by an Association to which, I belong. But unkown to the thief, Angels, from above, directed the watchful eyes of loyal young children, who loved me very much to his malfeasance. They exposed him faster than he took the money, retrieved my money for me first and then dealt harshly with him. I had to plead for his life to be spared!
That confirmed the potency of God's anointing on my life (which he had earlier revealed to me in a dream) that anyone who cheats or deals with me dishonourably does so at his or her own peril! This thief tried it and he had a taste of his pudding!
It is not possible for me to list all the names of those who came to honour my mother, one-by-one, for the purposes of appreciating them. Let me however appreciate Dr. Oni, Mr. Sofowora, Mrs. Ajayi and Pastor Wole Daniels, Mr. Dayo Awani, and all my colleagues who trooped in during the occasion. I appreciate their presence, I appreciate their gifts in kind and cash!
God Gives Me a Unique Name!
At about 6pm , the showers of blessings in the form of a heavy downpour came from our heavenly Daddy to cool us off but the children and some adults frolicked in the rain and continued with their dancing gyrations as if nothing was happening until about 11 p.m. when the band stopped performing! That marked my mother's glorious end on this planet, Alleluyah!
In my quiet time, after all participants had returned to their bases safely, I began to ruminate on God's wonderful handling of my mother's burial ceremony which had turned out more successfully than anyone had hoped for. I reviewed before Him fractious events that had reared their ugly heads, threatening to wreck or disrupt plans for Mum's obsequies. The situation had been like that of two enemies trying to cross a very narrow bridge at the same time, disregarding the dire consequence of a fatal dislodgement in such a foolhardy scramble.
Yet, God had turned the seemingly impossible situation around by converting the enemy's weapons into plough shears and raging minds into co-operative instruments. In the end, there was neither accident nor fatality, rancour nor breach of the peace. Money meant to ensure the presence of the police at the occcason had been embezzeled but 'You, Father, God, had provided our heavenly guards instead and everything went fine.' Even those who tried the anti-social tricks were confounded. “You provided good weather throughout the joyful period! And above all, the state of my health couldn't have been better!” Why did everything work out perfectly this way?
God whispered in my wonderment: “Don't you know that you are my favoured child?”
I replied: “Thank You Daddy, thank you Daddy; I thank you for allowing me to bother You! No more murmuring!”
I could then see how and why Abraham became the “father of faith”; Moses “the apple of God's eyes” and Jesus Christ, “My beloved son”. I myself had been given my own unique identity, “favoured child”, by my Creator! Putting aside the burden of the rough journey of my life, which I have chronicled, have I not become the truly favoured of God? That realisation was the origin of the “Divine Favour” which I conjoined with my name when registering my Legal Practice with the Corporate Affairs Commission (CAC) and which is engraved on my letter head till date.
More messages From My Mother (as a mother-in-law)
Women, particularly, should ponder glimpses of my mother's biography, so they might experience a permanent turn-around in their lives. My mother, an ordinary rural housewife, succeeded where other more sophisticated women (are you one of them?) have failed. Her method was simple: she complemented the efforts of her daughter-in-law while others, who were wise in their own eyes, played intrigues with theirs thereby making enemies out of them. She subsumed herself in humility and dominated her daughter-in-law's life with love. She transplanted subtly everything about her religion, general culture, dialect and Ekiti custom and culture to Mary, her daughter-in-law, who hailed from Abeokuta Ogun State Nigeria
My mother demonstrated that it pays to genuinely love one's daughter-in-law. She did not see them as enemies. Mothers need daughters-in-law to enjoy their sons! Daughters-in-law reciprocate the love that is extended to them. If mothers-in-law abide by these observations, they will be rewarded by God and man, just like my mother enjoyed!
Let mothers-in-law be the one to initiate the love. Like a loving daughter, the wife will reciprocate it! They will treat their mothers-in-law exactly as their own mothers! What they buy for their mothers are exactly what they would buy for their mothers-inlaw (did I hear someone say: unlikely, self-destruct, indadvisable?)! Yes, the truth is that “God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise” (like such a person) and God has chosen the weak things of the world (like respect, humility, mercy, etc) to confound the things which are seemingly mighty (our position, our wealth, our superiority complex over the other woman, especially in a polygamous setting - which attitude has led to self-centredness by appropriating your husbands selfishly - 1 Cor. 1.27). Housewives shoudn't be the bridge-breakers between their husbands and their mothers. Instead, they should be the bridge itself, by which mothers-in-law receive goodness, mercy and favour from their husbands (the sons). There's only one life to live and God ordained that a woman marries only one husband. There should be no room for the spirit of selfishness, hatred and contrariness to separate the wife from her God-given husband through struggles with her mother-in-law. It is sheer wickedness on the part of a wife or a wife-to-be to wish her mother-in-law (or mother-in-law-to-be) dead, just because she wants to have total control over her husband. Surely the same fate would soon overtake the wishful! Instead, mutual love is reciprocal. No matter what it takes to achieve the desired goals, no-one should give up. Heaven and mother-nature will favour both parties in the end as they did Tomire, my mother! Women (please, please and please) don't block the chances of brothers and sisters-in-law. They are the forest. A husband is only a tree in that forest called family! The time brothers and sisters-in-law are most likely to appreciate you is not particularly when they are under the same roof with you. It would likely be when they are out of your house. Treat them well. When it is well with them, they will fly you across the oceans (as I was treated in the United States of America
Likewise, it is necessary to advise brothers and sisters-in-law to stop perceiving wives as slaves, interlopers and blockers or protectresses in the homestead. These women are your best facilitators for any considerations from your brothers! It is foolhardy to challenge their positions. You must realise that wives are the next-in-command to their husbands in the affairs of the nuclear family - not, I repeat, not you! They are neither subject to your whims and caprices nor your assault! Whatever you do to them are actually done to her husband, your own brother. Reflect on your own future situation in like manner: would you tolerate any such mistreatment or disregard? Your brothers' wives are capable of determining or shaping your future. They have the key to your brothers' hearts and even to their souls. Your only weapon to win their trust is by co-operating with them rather than try to lord it over them! The way you choose to relate with them determines whether you are a loser or winner. That attitude ensures how you enjoy your brothers!
My Mother's Cousins Reciprocated Her Love!
Because of her good examples of love, she was very much loved by her Uncle's son (Julius Omogbemile) with whom she lived for over ten years in Ekitiland, preceding her coming to fin ally settle with us in Lagos. He remained solidly with my mother throughout her life. His mother, Comfort Omogbemile, also reciprocated my mother and she was close to her throughout her lifetime. Busola, the daughter, did the same with Mum until her dying day! All these are the so-called 'extended families' that we the modern-day people, treat with condescension or outright contempt! Where love exists, there is no demarcation or limitation in relationship! Likes, they say, attract likes, good-love attracts good-love and evil, evil too!
Tomire, My Children and I
Tomire, my good mother, yearned and prayed to nurse my children (I being her last born). God granted that prayer. She lived until my last child was about 11 years old! These same grand children she had prayed and waited to nurse, (and did nurse) reciproacated her 'nursing', and they nursed her joyfully even in death!
Mum lived to enjoy the fruits of her labours to the maximum possible limit. She lived a fulfilled life and she testified: “precisely what I wanted, God did for me”. What will your testimony be? As I earlier postulated at the beginning of this book, I couldn't wish for a better mother, even if I were to come back to life again after the current one has expired!
Chapter 49
My Adversaries
Proved Wrong
Difficult to Write!
Writing this chapter of my life was a most difficult one for me, not for any sudden loss of the ability to do so or the lack of what to say.
First, as I detail the encounters of my life, I wish to apologise to my paternal brothers and sisters for breaking my oath of silence. I also admit that it is not in the cultural heritage of the African to aggrandize about himself and his exploits, which is normally left to posterity to relate. So, I had to break my paternal family's unwritten but established protocol of doing things in anonymity. I hereby humbly tender my unreserved apologies for breaking the golden rule, bearing in mind that useful lessons are being given, which cannot be learned otherwise, for the edification of the noble human struggles as they manifested in my paternal family and as they affected me.
Secondly, the point at which I write this chapter became the point I was also mired in the scandalous statements and reactions that followed my change of paternal name. As a result, I had resolved never to open up on that chapter of my life in order to let sleeping dogs lie. Alas, because of the need to compare and contrast issues of life, I have, reluctantly, to make reference to the case, which I had once closed.
While my change of name had my desire to align with God's own arrangement for my life, adversaries had manufactured several damaging and unrelated reasons for my action. Many had become 'prophets of doom' who openly and falsely predicted that the Omogboyegas (my real biological clan) would stop at nothing until they killed me!
My reaction to all the insinuations was to go to my Creator in prayers thus:
“Lord, You know why You have ordered the journey of my life this way. I thank You because if You had not been my support, I would not have lived as long as I have lived. I have continued to wonder how I was able to survive the pressuers of life I had been subjected to from my very beginning. I have lived some miserable life simply because I was subjected to the tradition of man rather than Yours ordained for my life.
“Now I have come into Your own divine arrangement for my life to bear my biological father's name. Those who have not shared my sorrows but would stand up and mock me at the end of the day if I failed to act now, have turned around to predict death for me just because I would not toe their way!
“Daddy, blood is life; if that is so and, truly, it is the blood of Omogboyega that flows in my veins, then let not my adversaries triumph over me. Let them not succeed in turning my brothers and sisters in the Omogboyega family against me. Let our love for one another, which has been true, remain so and firmly established. Above all, let me live to declare Your glory. All this I ask in Jesus' Mighty name. Amen”.
With the foregoing background, I was tempted to write without the embellishment of my sundry, sour experiences. I would have simply written when I was born, which schools I attended, where I worked and what my present situation was and, maybe lyingly, that I had become independent! I would not author such trash, such fantasy which offer no benefit whatsoever to any readers. What would matter is the exact chronology of the series of the good, bad and ugly events of my life and how I surmounted them all to become somebody of substance and relevance. That is why I here present the thick and the thin of my life. The essence of this decision is for everyone to realise that life is not all a bed of roses or to put it simply: everyone of us must encounter his or her own challenges and no matter the degree of such obstacles one faces in life, one should never give up hope. I believe that revelations, such as I have experienced, would encourage them to weather the storms of life.
Accompanying the effervescent joy of taking the bold step to reconcile with my biological father, God has opened the windows and doors of heaven to me. Before then, I lived in bondage but ever since I have lived in total freedom. With my father and his immediate family, I have a coterie in whom I have no limitations at all and with whom I enjoy absolute trust and faithfulness.
Providentially, they have also extended their love to my maternal side and all who concern me. This all-inclusive disposition has been attested by my maternal siblings who have invariably requested me, whenever I visited home, to convey their gratitude to my father's people for one good turn or another.
When my mother died, apart from Emma's unilaterally huge burial undertaking, the financial contributions from my paternal siblings (my brother, my sisters, their wonderful husbands together with the other Omogboyegas in the diaspora) accounted for not less than one-third of my own huge total share of the bills. Not only that, their presence with me during the period was total in spirit and deeds. Those who could not be present physically, kept up a constant intercourse with me by phone, such that their presence was immaterial.
At a particular period when I had a trying time with my career, they prayed and counselled me from all corners of the globe - a wonderful response that kept me on track to secure God's favour in the end.
As I stated much earlier, at the zenith of my congested academic pursuits, my paternal younger brother, Remi and his wife, Bunmi, were one of the two families (the other being the Ajayis) who had invited me to the USA to have a deserved rest. But, inexplicably, I was never able to honour their own invitation. Nevertheless, constructively, I regard them as the first people to fly me outside the shores of Nigeria
No matter the harshness of my environment, I ended up being favoured wherever I turned!
All these happenings therefore support my postulation that love transcends everything in life and God's favour has nothing to do with geographical, ethnic, sexual, religious and other limiting factors whatsoever. All the accounts given above were just but a few out of my very positive encounters with my paternal siblings. I will dwell a little bit more on this in the next chapter.
Chapter 50
My Visit to Norway
I had another opportunity for overseas travel and relaxation after Mother's obsequies. Happily, it was a fulfilling reunion with my younger brother, Remi, his wife and children, Bunmi and Fola, who had relocated to Norway
The opportunity came in November, 2003 and, as usual, my flight out was by the KLM Airline, via Amsterdam Great Britain North Sea .
The landscape of Norway
The only stark difference in the environment of Norway Amsterdam
However, soon after completing the immigration and customs formalities, I was in the happy embrace of my beloved brother, Remi. It was exhilarating to experience a re-enactment of the meeting of the Omogboyega family in a foreign clime!
For all practical purposes, Norway
When we got to his house, Remi and Bunmi, little Fola and a sister named Mowa equally gave me an enthusiastic welcome. I could hardly do justice to Bunmi's sumptuous services, for which I (with apologies) disappointed her and virtually everyone in the house most times. Since my U.S.
Another impession worth noting about the Norwegians was the dedicated manner they kept their history. I visited the museum at Sola City
A common feature in their transportation system was the straightness of the routes - rail or road. The people apparently operated on the principle that the straight line is the shortest line. The result is that no route was ever diverted by reason of a physical impediment such as mountains or rocks! So, roads or railways were tunnelled through them, even if they ran the entire length of any mountain range to the desired destination!
This phenomenon took my mind back to the situation at home where roads and railways were snaked round every physical confrontation, so that trains moved at snail speed and road travel became unnecessarily long and hazardous. I wish I could bring the Norwegians to Ekitiland in particular where mountains needed to be tunnelled, not only to make our roads safe and straight but also to give it the tourist attraction it deserves. I wish I could invite them to come and do something about “Akannasan'', a particularly most dangerous, double-bent, hill with a deep valley which continually swallows so many lives and properties and on which, rather than adopt the Norwegian way, we have wasted millions of naira sacrificing to the man-made gods, whose appetites are insatiable, even as I write this book!
I wish I could bring the Norwegians to “Oke Idanre” in Ondo State
During my Norwegian tours, the excellence of Caucasian life was re-enacted everywhere: automated trade and commerce, unbroken conventions of life and evidence of why the people would never again have to pray the poor man's mantra, “… for our daily bread”. There were no congestions of any kind, the school system and the learning environment were proficient and humane, and there was order everywhere. One could only surmise that in these circumstances, the menace of social miscreants was inconsiderable.
I was also impressed about the state of Christian worship in Norway
Healthwise, their medicinal value of water therapy was a legacy I took away. Rarely would they prescribe drugs as a health remedy. The frequent medical advice was drink, drink and drink water!
The Norwegian practice in water therapy actually gave me some more understanding in the Christ Apostolic Church
Another observation I made in the Norwegian System is the policy of leaving on vehicle headlamps during broad day light! On inquiry from my host, I was informed that the vehicles over there were so designed that their headlamps came on immediately the ignition was switched on so that drivers did not bother about forgetting or remembering to do so at night or in darkeness!
The banking system was beautiful - no congestions whatsoever and new notes were freely and continually issued. Electronic banking made life totally easy, such that cashing was a 24-hour daily service.
Like in the USA USA
After two weeks of such wonderful idealism, I returned to Nigeria Norway USA Norway
I thank God for all my paternal siblings: Florence
They have all challenged me to good works and by His grace, I shall endeavour to live up to that billing.
Chapter 51
My Spiritual
Growth
Back To My Beat
The issue of how to get back to active participation in Church activities had become a recurrent discussion between my wife and me. Yes, we were willing but our daily schedules were so busy or congested that we could not work it out. We just could not get around the problem!
But this uncertain period of our devotions came mercifully to an end one afternoon during one of the rare services we attended. At the appropriate point in the service, the names of those who were considered to be lax or lukewarm in the affairs of the Church (other than financing) were announced. My name and my wife's were amongst them and we were accordingly 'sentenced' by Pastor Fabiyi, to undertake a Workers-in-Training Class for three months!
Good, But Hectic Training
As stated elsewhere, I had done a Workers training once in the RCCG, Iba Estate, during the tenure of Pastor Obed Akinmulewo. So, I did not envisage any stress at all but with Area Mummy Fabiyi leading the class, I was proved wrong!
The first sign that the training would be different was the detailed Manual on it. It was unlike the conventional RCCG's training Manual. We had two very dedicated teachers: Mummy Fabiyi herself and Sister Ayo who was quite caring, firm and loving too. But Mummy Fabiyi added to those qualities: strictness, punctiliousness and extra-ordinary pushfulness. By her very nature, she was a got-getter who would not compromise on anything to achive results!
Our first lessons included the history of RCCG and its doctrine. As a research student, I loved this because it gave me further authentic information about the origins of RCCG. The roles of a worker, his attributes, and many more other things were laid bare to us.
However, three messages sank deeply into me: first, we were nobodies and we should therefore subject ourselves to the service of the Lord with humility.
Second, the training was a 'charater-moulding course' and, finally our vision as followers must be subsumed to that of the church to avoid confusion. In other words, our visions should align with that of the leadership of RCCG. We studied the book of Nehemaiah thoroughly and wrote a full test on it before our graduation into the Workers' fold.
Let me at this juncture appreciate all my Pastors: Okanlawon, Oluwaniyi and Wole Daniels (and their wives), particularly for showing understanding during my academic pursuit which virtually took me away from the Church most times. I also appreciate Pastor & Mummy Fabiyi for being the people God used to uncompromisingly restore us to our spiritual beats. For this reason, I consider the Fabiyis to be our closest spiritual mentors.
My Ministry or Specific Callings
As would have been dicernable from the beginning of my story, I do not pursue any cause without a clear vision of it. My spiritual calling has been similarly treated.
Though, for the most part, I have found church attendance and work easy as I have stated before. In view of my tight official and private schedules, I did not want to be too actively involved in church activities.
But whateer my own considerations, God had His own plans for me. It was soon clear that He wanted me to serve Him and nurture His children in faith through my teaching them His word, so they would grow spiritually. Initially, I did not catch the vision and so concentrated exclusively on my private agenda.
I Had A Revelation
Dreams, prophecies and revelations have largely shaped my life. Those closest to me, like my late mother and my own wife, were some of the instruments or agencies in this development. Because of them, I took everything in good faith without question, and their reality was constant and self-fulfilling even till date. I do not detail them here because they are my private relationship with my heavenly father, not for fear of any other consequences. But I can reveal that over 65%of the prophesies revealed to me by a Prophet through my late mother have come to pass, and the rest are yet to manifest.
However, I would advise my readers to try to develop their own visions. While prophecies are acceptable phenomena of life, they should not be allowed to pre-occupy one's life. Otherwise, anxiety over them could lead to unholy acts that could prove ruinous to life, the Macbeth's example!
My readers may say: “but nobody has prophesied concerning me.” That is not true. God did that amply in the Holy Bible (Deut. 28:1-14) and many others. Therefore, God's purpose for every life, including yours, is to prosper and it is to lead you to an “expected end”.
That, in itself, is enough prophesy for a spiritually matured person. If you claim it and prayerfully work hard towards attaining it, you will obtain God's plans for your life.
However, I am tempted to reveal here just one of my own and one of my wife's dreams seeming to rally around my spiritual callings.
While I was attending LASU, I withdrew from the Holy Ghost Nights. Neither did I attend the Church's Annual Conventions. Indeed, my spiritual life almost went totally dry.
But surprisingly, that condition did not stop God from giving me revelations in a dream! I think we human beings tend to want to see God from the punitive aspect but my life reveals to me that God is a merciful God. Whoever He has decided to favour, He will not withdraw from, even when he or she is in critical condition or even running away from Him! That's my Father!
That night, I dreamt and I saw a lot of people searching for me all over the place. Eventually they located me. I asked them why they sought after me so fervently. They replied that the General Overseer, Daddy E.A. Adeboye, had sent them to look out for me wherever I was. I asked why? They replied that there were some issues concerning the children that needed urgent attention and that only I would be able to resolve them and for that reason, Daddy Adeboye had sent them to fetch me and that I must come down urgently to attend to the issues. For that reason, they insisted, I must go with them for they could not return to Daddy Adeboye without me! They did not allow me to offer any reason(s) why I could delay my coming and in that process, I woke up!
It is pertinent here to add at this juncture, that my wife had previously dreamt years before on an issue relating to my spiritual calling too. In that dream (which she narrated to me) she said that she went to our former Pastor, Owaseye, for prayers to resolve a very burning issue concerning her life. And on getting there, the Pastor simply burst into laughter. As she was wondering why, Pastor Owaseye, according to her, referred her back home to me saying that she already had a Pastor as a husband and that the annointing upon him (her husband) to break such yokes was greater than the one upon him.
She woke up that morning and from then onwards, she started addressing me as “Pastor” even before she narrated the dream to me! I considered all these happenings as pointers to something about God's direction for my spiritual life. But then the issue of when and how remained unresolved for I did not want to venture without a clear direction.
Interpreting The Dream
Then, I began to wonder what God meant for me in the dream. I meditated upon the dream for a very long while before I got an idea of what God meant for me. That was when I realised that God had a calling for me in the Children's Ministry. However, the issue of timing, that is, when to take up the mantle was also a crucial issue because God speaks well ahead of time about His servants. I needed to seek guidance as to the nature of involvement God had ordained for me. Was it to preach to them directly as a Childen's Pastor or to go into the project of writing books on the Gospel for children? I needed counsel to work out these details for me to make the right judgment in the matter.
Towards the tail-end of our programme at the Workers Training, we were required to choose a Department we would like to function in. We were advised that it was important that our choice should tally with our callings or talents so we would flow well in such Departments. My dream made it possible for me to quickly identify that I rightly belonged to the Children's department. I chose just that and became committed to that cause. My joy is that I am enjoying them and the children approach me from time to time to say that they have enjoyed the way the Holy Spirit has been using me to teach them.
I Became an Associate Minister!
I received a pleasant shocker on the 2nd day of January 2005 when I was elevated to the position of an Associate Minister in my Church! That was my first New Year gift from God Almighty through my Area Pastor, Fabiyi. The elevation has been a great challenge and an acknowledgement of my growth in His vineyard. It is quite honourable to be called to serve God and I look up to him to fulfill His callings upon my life despite my very busy secular assignments that sometimes threaten my health!
In the circumstance, I have realized that I need to live a stricter and more disciplined existence, as well as adher to God's unflinching guidance, support and assurance to succeed in the assignment he has given us.
Mary and I Became Deaconess/Deacon!
It has pleased God Almighty, eight months on, to again lift my wife and I in His vineyard on the 1st day of August, 2005, when we were formally ordained as Deaconness and Deacon respectively! As we sat anxiously waiting to be invested, I was moved to check out the meaning of the words “Deacon or Deaconness” in my e-dictionary. It was defined thus, “a protestant layman who assists the Minister”. My new status now makes it compulsory for me to totally subject myself to my Minister(s) in my local parish or wherever they may be. So it is a call for mandatory service. Previously, I could dodge or abdicate responsibilities but now it is spiritually irresponsible for me to do so in His work!
After the ordination, I chewed on how I would successfully cope in the face of my various challenges and responsibilities in my tough secular world, but, I was again buoyed up by the provision in Psalm 119:36-37 which says,
“Bow my heart to Your testimonies, and not to unjust gain. Turn away my eyes from seeing vanity; in Your way give me life.”
I was relieved, and realized that He who ordained us during a Convention titled “Excellence” will surely, inspite of our human weaknesses, grant us the grace to become excellent in the assignments he had mapped out for us to perform.
The Challenges
As I desired to be more relevant in the things of God, however, I suddenly discovered that the incompatibility between my office location and my abode squeezed me in between and made it difficult for me to move as close to Him as my desire to do so was becoming more and more manifest. As I struggled to balance both assignments, my health started to experience unprecedented depreciation almost on daily basis!
This development threw a big challenge to me. I had two options: one, resign my appointment and face full time Ministry where I had been assigned a major responsibility or change my location by moving my house closer to my office. Either way, I would face new sets of challenges.
It was obvious that I was mid-sea as far as family responsibilities were concerned. With three children in the Universities and another in a private secondary school at JSS2 level, I needed to be cautious in taking such a decision without proper consultations with God and man. I was yet to conduct proper feasibility studies on my proposed next line of business- legal practice combined with writing.
Careerwise, I was still mid-way into my career in my office and it appeared opportunities still abound here and there.
Above all, I had not received any specific direction from God to relinquish my secular career to a full-time ministry; so whatever decision I took, I must be prepared for the consequences which will also affect every member of my family!
In the midst of all these considerations and seeming confusions, early in the morning two weeks before the end of December 2005, my wife and I engaged in fervent prayers to our God thus:
“Our Father in Heaven,
We thank You for how far You have helped us as a family. We are grateful to you for giving us direction in everything that we do up till now, what we are doing and what we shall be doing in our future.
Daddy, we are in a dilemma. Our present place of abode is not compatible with our office location. We waste upwards of three-and-a-half hours to return home from our offices every evening, making it impossible for us to be effective in Your house. We are tired of the low-cost normenclature attached to the Estate where we reside. Our health is being adversely affected daily. Psychologically, we are so unsettled even as to think right!
Daddy, since we cannot yet resign our appointments unless you so directs, our simple request is this: please relocate us to another place where we would be able to gain more time to serve You and to live happily together as a family. Certainly, we cannot continue to live like this a life, which makes us to be neither here nor there in Your house.
Daddy, please interevene in Jesus' name we pray. Amen”
Surprisingly, precisely three days after these prayers were offered to Him, God answered our prayers! He granted our requests beyond our own very imaginations! On the 27th of December, 2005, barely a little above one week after our prayers, God relocated us from a low-cost housing to a place far above that level! We now have time for family altar every morning and evening! Mary and I now get to work earlier and return home earlier to attend evening services in our nearby local church without stress! God accelerated the process of our movement such that we hardly had time to go into long stories telling our neighbours that we were moving. We only managed to hint them of our decision at the eve of our departure! That's the nature of this Merciful God that is our Father and to whom all glory and honour must return for everything He did for us!
Another implication of our sudden move obviously necessitated our relocating to another Parish, which we are trying to do as I conclude this book. It would not have mattered much to anybody if only we were ordinary members of our local church but as Ministers, it meant so much to our previous local parish, RCCG Healing Porch! This is more so because of our seeming relevance to the service of God in that Parish. It is also the more painful because we were forced to leave our spiritual mentors, Pastor Fabiyi and his very active and spirit-driven wife, Tola. We are going to miss them so much! We are leaving them, painfully, at the time they thought we had settled and at a time they were keeping watchful eyes upon our steady spiritual growth. They give us direction every now and then and encouraged us where other Pastors would have discouraged us!
We are going to miss our very good friends too, the Ministers and various friends, (the Ajibades, the Bellos, the Durosaros, the Hicks, the Bodundes, the Fadairos, the Onamusis, the Idokos, the Antos, the Bonas, the Olorunnowos, the Osedahunsis, Sister Ayo) and all members of various departments (who had virtually become our family members but whose names are too numerous to record in this book).
I am particularly going to miss the close to 40-membe r Blessed Men Society, which I happened to lead while Mary will miss the Excellent Women Society. We, both, of us shall miss the Children's Department where we had served at one time or the other. We will miss every one of the lovely children in that Department which is closest to our hearts!
We shall miss the entire congregation where we had worshipped and served God precisely for 10 good years, and a church which, according to history, started as Home Care Fellowship in the sitting room of our previous house!
To avoid missing all these people, first we had toyed with the possible idea of remaining in Healing Porch Parish indefinitely but we discovered that if we did so, we would neither be here nor there as the same traffic jam we ran away from would make us to operate as, if not worse, than it was previously. We would miss virtually all mid-week services! If we worshipped at Healing Porch only on Sundays, we would not be relevant wherever we worshiped within the week as we would not be able to participate fully in their activities. Since RCCG Church
As for the impact of our missing our loving Area Pastor and his entire family, we believe their joy would be fuller if, after leaving them, they continue to hear good reports about our spiritual progress wherever we are and for us all to be rapturable. For this reason, we are comforted.
Chapter 52
My Secular
Callings
It will be an incomplete story if I only talk about my spiritual callings and leave out the physical ones. The fact remains that every human being is imbued with both the physical and spiritual attributes and it is imperative that he or she should recognize and nurture to full potential, both aspects.
I must admit that God has been very kind to me such that He does not hide from me His chosen path for me at any point in time, not minding the state of my overall social background.
My physical callings have been very clear: continuous academic pursuit, to be a Lawyer with a focused advocacy for the underdog, to be a prolific writer on inspirational issues such as they affect pre and post-marriage, child upbringing, youth development, poverty, wealth creation and the need for people to have vision. As to vision, God has given me a clear picture of what to do to contribute meaningfully to make my family and parents, sibbilings, friends, town, society and country better than they are.
In my work situation, I am more inclined towards taking up issues of social engineering, which directly impact people's lives. That is why I am more on the human side of enterprise - Human Resources - with a focus on Industrial Relations, Recruitment and Training. I just love such work. That is why I never feel dissatisfied with whatever I do that will lead to the solution of people's problems. That is why my two professions; Law and Human Resources Management, are seemingly patterned after my very nature to my pleasure!
Chapter 53
Music and
My Life
My readers will wonder, what's my business with music? Am I a musician? What's so special about music and what direct linkage does music have with me as a person or how is it related to my story?
I have promised, right from the beginning of this book, that I would go beyond the ordinary boundaries of the usual autobiography. I did say I would stretch its frontiers to the inspirational domain. This is why I touch so extensively on every topic I have since covered. It is a story that blends theory with practice. All the things I write about apply to you as they do to me.
Secular music has become so controversial in the Church, especially amongst those with intense religious beliefs. There has been the recurring question: “should a Christian listen to secular music?” I have my clear views. My readers do have theirs too.
We should exchange our views and experiences so that those who are still in the 'tunnel' would see light.
On the positive side, good music is the soul of life. Good music is like the good books we all read for our spiritual, academic and professional examinations.
Good music is a tonic. Good music reawakens a dry or (even) dead spirit. Good music gives hope to the listener and it not only reduces anxiety, it is a therapy for psychological illnesses. Good music could be a direction to our lives, and an energy booster. It helps the blood to flow and regulates our heartbeats. Good music supplies a quick and sublime access to the Lord Almighty. No wonder, King David sang his heart out to God, thereby becoming the man after His heart (whom He rewarded by giving him unending inspirations). Till today, the book of Psalms is arguably the most spirit-lifting segment in the Bible. God loves music and cherishes it. The Bible tells us that even Satan was once the Choirmaster of God before pride brought him low.
God enjoys good music.
Human beings have followed suit. It is remarkable that even newly born babies react to music. For instance, if your baby is disturbing you anytime of the day and nothing else has worked to calm him or her down, please look for a good gospel or cool music for the baby. You will be amazed at its spontaneous calm down.
Music removes boredom and like football, it cuts across all barriers (racial, space or belief).
On the negative side, bad music corrupts the body, the spirit and the soul of a man or a woman, boy or girl. If you would corrupt the generations after you, play corrupt music to the unborn. Through it, pass down to them immoral messages, let them dance to it naked in the street and do so with abandon. In no time, nobody will remember God anymore.
But I have chosen to be tremendously and positively impacted by the good musical works of good musicians. That is why I am so taken up with music. Don't ask me whether it is gospel or secular please. Music is inherently good and does not per se engender contrariness. Its lyrics are however manipulated by men to debase or descend to immoral or unacceptable tunes and levels!
Good music is good music. There are some gospel as well as secular works that are lacking in creativity and the power to pass the elevating messages and feelings. There are the copy-cat musicians who add no substance to the renditions and they are many in gospel music. I do not enjoy abusive and or immoral music too because they do nobody no good.
I am also concerned with the stuff my musicians are made of. For instance Fela was a giant in the music industry. He was a profound and relevant social critic with his beautiful music and engineered an enduring and distinct genre of music but his attack on religion, especially in one of his works titled “Suffer suffer for World”, though beautifully packaged, definitely impacted negatively on our youths because it tended to make the youths and the unwary adults alike tend to think that all our religious leaders are cheats and that serving God does not have any positive role to play in influencing our moral attitudes. It would have been a perfect work if he had removed those offensive words portraying pastors and Imams as people enjoying while the congregation suffers. That he did not believe in God does not in any way nullify the importance of religion to our lives. (I hear you say but it's a fact for us all to see!) Yes, I agree but good Christians or Muslims are not responsible for the level of poverty in our society. It is the bad leadership, and the fact that they bear John, James or Ismaila or Fatai does not necessarily qualify them as good leaders.
The world would have definitely been a worse place to live in if the religions were not there and if their leaders had not been passing on all the moral messages to the populace over time!
Indeed, there are Nigerian musicians who have left rich veins of wholesome music for the society, like the late Comfort Omoge whose works brought out the best heritage of Africa, Onyeka Onwenu (Ekwe, One Love), Mike Okri (Awo Omo Alaigboran po nile iwe…), Late Jim Rex Lawson, Victor Uwaifo, Sonny Okosuns (Who Owns the land), Adewale Ayuba (Baale Ile Yi Eweso), Late Haruna Isola (B'obinrin dara bio ni wa), Late Jim Reeves (This World is not my home), Ipi Tombi and Oliver de Coque - to mention a few. I don't understand the language or dialects in which some of these musicians sang but the contents of their works are highly moralistic and life-moulding.
In the early 70's, King Sunny Ade's “Alaanu l'Oluwa” (The Lord is Merciful) gave me hope that God would have mercy upon me. Today that hope has been fulfilled. His “Baba Jen'tegbe” (Father, make me head) passed a serious message to me that I must work hard, earn enough money to be a true head of my nuclear family and to be very relevant in my extended family and even my society at large. What he said about the married man who, blinded by poverty, had to accompany his wife to beg bread from her lover was an eye-opener to me that a man who lacked money was an unacceptable victim of an intolerable fate!
In his latest release he says: “Boko ra teru, k'ale ra sanyan, oko la maa ki ku inawo Ase danu ni t'ale je” (Let the husband buy his wife cheap materials while the concumbine buys the same woman expensive ones, the husband that receives the commendation; concubines are prodigals!). Sunny has passed a frank message to our men who would abandon their homes and spend lavishly on strange women. Such are the messages good musicians should pass across to their audience. Because of religious bias, here and there, it is only secular musicians who can reach out to every segment of our society.
In his desperate moments,KSA sang “Esu biri biri ke bomi ooh, Iwaju lo'loko nwami lo ehin l'oloko nwami lo emio mo o” (please rally round me, I know no more the direction of my life!). Whenever I am desperate, I did cry this kind of cry to God. We all have desperate moments and at relevant times such music elevates us to higher grounds. “Eniyan laso iyi mi ti mo fi nbora”(people are my clothing which gives me warmth). These vital messages emp hasise the need for us not to live in an isolated world.
Jim Reeves, even in his grave, has continued to remind every living soul by no means, that this world is not our home. It is instructive and a reminder to us all to take life easy.
Dr. Orlando Owoh's “Masika” (Do No Evil), “Asaro Elepo Rederede' (the wicked woman who in a polygamous home attempted to kill the son of her rival but erroneously poisoned her own child) , 'Bopo Bariwa l'ode won a wowa tembelu” (those who look down on people should desist from doing so) - are all powerful messages to humanity.
Back home in Ekitiland, there are Ishola Adepoju's 'Ayege Ni Nigeria…” , Late Ajoyemi's numerous good works, King Femi Ariyo's over sixty-two well researched records amongst which are: “Omiye Lala” (Our siblings are important), 'Oni sun ale kedide” ( wake up from your slumber), “Oni sare laye nse' (we are the cause of road accidents, not the enemy -a timely warning to our commercial drivers), “Kan bati bani fo se loni mei gbo” (Take to good counsel), “Bere Ko to wobe” (investigatigate your would-be spouse before going into marriage), “Opolo ni mei lo…” (I am creative), “B'aye baferan re” (if you are loved, do not be puffed up), “Onimoto Rora Wami” (Mr. Driver, drive me safely) and so on.
Chief Elemure Ogunyemi's “Ekiti Kete” (A unity call to the Ekiti's in diaspora to identify with their origin) “Ati Rio un ka Iwa” (we've secured what we are seeking for), “Seranko Seniyan”, (an unstable man) and many more good works from this highly rated Ekiti musicin are highly instructive. Others include I.K. Dairo's “Owuro Lojo” (make haste while the sun shines), Ebenezer Obey's “Ketekete, Ninu Odun timbe laye, Aimasiko Londamu Eda” (if we knew our destiny, we won't have been in dilemma) and “Ko sogbon te le da” (You cannot please the world).
As can be observed, I have dealt more extensively with good secular musicians than I did their gospel counterparts. That is deliberate because it is the former that is controversial, not the latter. What is important is to remember that both secular and gospel music constitute the vehicle for conveying messages of hope and a veritable instrument for resolving issues of morality and wellbeing of the people in a famished world by the church and the society.
In closing this chapter, I have a charge for our Gospel musicians in particular. This charge is that there is no limit to creativity. Rather than keep repeating songs that have been creatively recorded by their predecessors unamended, they should pick up the Bible and turn every word, every story, every quotable quotes therein, to songs themselves. They should read story books that raise issues of good morals, they should be keen observers of contemporary issues and link them up to Gospel truth and release such to the society. They should meditate deeply on touchy issues that affect people's lives and turn them to songs. They should research and come out with something unique that praises God in a new and inspiring way. God wants them to praise Him from their own perspectives, not from the perspective of another person who had done his or her own in the past.
Ok, nobody says they should re-invent the wheel; all musicians, gospel or secular, if they must copy, let them do it the Kehinde Dairo or Femi Anikulapo Kuti's way! Copy but stamp your own authority on it by adding something fresh and exciting! Success awaits you thereby. Music, gospel or secular, is a lucrative business. It is a distinct profession. It is a commodity that can never saturate the market. Be creative, make all the monies there's in it to make your life flourish!
My summary of this is that there's nothing wrong with music that touch deeply on morality. Morality is an issue of so its usage will facilitate the moderation of non-believers into truth and belief.
Chapter 54
Overcoming
Poverty
Average Syndrome
“…If you aim at achieving the average, you don't need miracles, signs and wonders. But if you have decided to be outstanding or to fulfill your God-given destiny, then the Lord will give you miracles, signs and wonders. What do we mean by average? It may surprise you that a rich man is an average man. When you look at the entire spectrum of wealth, you will find various compartments. At the bottom of the ladder you will find the poor. He is somebody who cannot make ends meet. He is like the widow with her last meal. After that meal, she was to expect death. This class includes the jobless.
The comfortable comes next. This refers to the one who makes ends meet but has no savings. At the slightest emergency, he is reduced to the level of the poor. Before the month ends, he has gone a-borrowing.
The third category is that of the rich. Those in this group have their needs met with additional luxury. They may have a million naira in their account. The problem with those in this category is that they brag about (it) as if they have arrived; whereas, a million naira when converted to pounds sterling is just about £4000.
The next category is the class of the wealthy. Thse are so rich that they can afford to put some millions in fixed deposits for, at least, six months.
At the upper extreme is the class of the flourishing. These are so rich that they lend to nations. God wants to take you to the level of the flourishing. But you must determine never to be average any more.
Action point: Reject the tendency to be average and ask God to make you enter the class of the flourishing.“
Source: Pastor E.A. Adeboye's “Open Heavens” Daily Devotion of Tuesday October, 11 Vol. Five, 2005
“I tell people that poverty is a choice and not an accident! You're the architect of your wealth or poverty because both come from inside of you. When you are ignorant, you will most probably be poor. … poverty is the inevitable result of ignorance. Poverty doesn't have anything to do with the state of your birth. It has nothing to do with your father, mother, family background or the neighbourhood in which you grew up.”
Source: April 11, 2005 edition of Pastor Chris Oyakhilome's Daily Devotional Booklet, “Rhapsody of Realities”.
Liberating Myself
These notable men of God Pastors Adeboye and Chris Oyakhilome, actually expressed what I have believed since I was young. I stated this similarly in the introductory page of this book.
A cardinal vision of my life is one without poverty. I hold the same vision for my nuclear and extended families and for all those I would come in contact with somehow in my life. It is a legacy I want to bestow to humanity.
I am ready to conquer the monster called poverty, which is my greatest enemy and that of man generally. Poverty and I are not compatible. So, from my own generation onwards, by the special grace of God, poverty will have no place in my family any longer.
Poverty is not limited to lack of cash in hand. It includes poverty of ideas or its management. It has to do with intellectual poverty by way of being an illiterate. Many of us are already rich and (we do not even realize it) ignorant!). Poverty and ignorance are twins!
However, my conquest of poverty will be guided by the will of God, and diligence. I will not do it by resorting to short-cut or contrary methods. I will only engage myself in anything godly, anything legal, everything ethical, anything good, anything transparent, anything verifiable and considered fair in the process of hacking down this enemy called poverty. My method is going to be exemplary to all who will ever fight to rid society of poverty.
God created all human beings equal but it is poverty that has created classes in degenerating order, and it has led some otherwise good people to anti-social behaviour in society.
To effectively fight poverty, one has to identify its root causes. One cause is definitely poor thinking and lazy disposition. Most people believe that wealth will drop into their laps without effort or by mere wishful thinking!
For this reason, most Christians, who routinely engage in fasting and praying dutifully, live careless and planless lives while they wait for God and governments to make them comfortable in life.
My observation about Nigeria
Individually, we have failed to be realistic in our approaches to life while our leaders have themselves failed us by manifesting all sorts of ungodly behaviours, mostly selfish leadership and corrupt practices in running the affairs of the country.
As a result, we are mired in anti-social behaviours that do not task our innate ingenuity and resourcefulness but which bring quick gain nevertheless: gambling, commission agency, '419', surrogate money-laundering and other levels of sharp practices. Life should not be so. Every facet of our lives should be planned purposefully and judiciously managed. We are lazy in managing our finances, our marriage, our spiritual lives, our careers, our health, and so on. I wonder how we would analyse our lives without creating and maintaining a consistent database for our transactions including our incomes and expenditures.
Again, the truth is that every naira we have is a seed. Where we plant it and how we nurture it to bear multiples of fruits matter very much. But alas! We are irresponsibly wasteful in our spendings. An average working person should be able to assess his total worth, his net worth, his liability as well as his overall incomes and expenditures, which constitute his assets. If we are lazy at keeping records, how can we assess our self-worth?
All these failings lead us to poverty. For instance, we are even so planless that we get married when we are not prepared for family responsibilities! Because we do not want to experience pain, we pursue pleasure as our primary objective. Admittedly, there are problems that are not directly ours like our parents who produce more children than they could cater for, thereby foisting responsibilities on their innocent offspring right from their cradle. But often times, as soon as we acquire money, rather than partner with our wives to pursue common goals, we go for unrealistic and grandiose ones. We make emotional pledges that we cannot redeem. We spend money carefreely, thereby creating wrong impressions of the statuses of nouveaux riches. We lavish money like confetti at social occasions to which we are invited as if we grow money trees behind our houses! We acquire wasteful properties needlessly, and self-injuriously try to please everybody - our families, friends, community and so on, for self aggrandizement!
I Am Guilty of It Too! But…
I was once entangled myself in this life of false living. I found myself being continually out of pocket no matter how much I earned and not knowing where the monies went. But sometime, in 1987, in exasperation, and in an attempt to find a lasting solution to the problem, I decided to check how much income I earned in kind and in cash and my manner of expenditure.
I did this on a daily basis. Then, as a second leg to my enquiry, I prepared a questionnaire for an anonymous earner but who was actually myself. I distributed copies of the questionnaire to 16 members of staff under me at the time. I requested them to provide or fill in answers that would enable the desperate earner to live within his income.
They dutifully completed the forms and after collating the results, I analysed them to the best of my ability. Two things came out of the analysis: first, my income was far below my expenditure; second, I had been spending it wastefully on things that had no value. Lastly, I was 'giving out foolishly'. At that time, I was living in a room-and-parlour apartment, which I foolishly (in the name of love) over-crowded with extended family members to the detriment of my immediate family.
In fact, we were 12 persons living in the apartment at 21 Osemeka Street Lagos
Anytime I remember this period (1989) of my life as a married man, I always thank God for my wife whom He gave me, because she bore all my excesses equably even though she possessed fewer than four good dresses in her wardrobe!
One day I had to apologise to her profusely for my foolishness. Though we agreed to continue to help our extended family members but we also resolved not to do so at the expense of our nuclear family. So we made the necessary adjustments.
Over three years, we were able to reduce the population in our house to seven inhabitants in a humane manner that did not hurt those affected. But their population was still too much for our levels of income. So finally, I secured a separate accommodation for my wife and I, leaving the five other persons in the old apartment. For two years thereafter, I still paid the rent for two of those left behind. But it had been a painful period for me, particularly for my wife but she had borne everything with equanimity.
Today, while still helping extended family members to the best of our abilities, we do so outside our nuclear setting, not permitting more than a maximum of three persons to live with us at any given period. This strict rule has been uncomfortable or unpalatable to prospective beneficiaries, and I understood why. People loved to stay with us because they believed we could influence their lives for the better! We loved that too but there has to be a boundary, otherwise they would kill the goose that lays the golden egg and that will be bad for the goose as well as her keeper. So, we have had to put our foot down without looking back!
Naturally, we are still prone to wasteful spending in some other areas but it is now due to the occasional failings of the heart, not thoughtlessness nor carelessness.
I had tried to play 'god' attempting to meet everybody's needs. But I nearly killed myself in the process. Now, I have since realized that those I had sacrificed for would have lived on, regardless of my ultimate fate. Now I know what 'help' means. It means “an occasional assistance based upon needs that would add measurable value to the lives of those being assisted”. It is obvious that there is a thin line between 'help' and over-indulging people. Everybody must be prepared to work with his own hands to become economically independent!
With the new understanding, I can distinguish between 'must-do' and mere 'desirables' in do-goodism! I apply the same principle with my own children whom I have counseled to realize early in life that they would not live with us for ever but that, God willing, at adulthood (25 years old or a little while beyond that), if not on their own already, they should be on the way to being so.
By God's special grace, as I write, I appreciate the fact that I now earn well, though not well enough - for I still resort to (thank God for the opportunities) obtaining loans - credit purchases here and there to meet some essential needs which are capital in nature. However, I am grateful, for my level of earning has made me to be credit-worthy in the first place and suffices to the extent that I don't have to borrow money to buy food anymore!
Also, having put the issue of shelter behind me, I think I am on the threshold of Maslow's Physiological Needs Theory or Pastor Adeboye's Comfort Zone Theory, which marks me for nobler pursuits like what Pastor Adeboye calls the rich, the wealthy and the 'flourishing zones'. The flourishing zone, is my ultimate goal. In that zone I would pay higher than 10% of my income as tithes and make other huge financial contributions to the furtherance and upliftment of the gospel and humanity in general without struggles and pain. At that zone, I can build churches, establish viable Trust Funds for scholarships, sponsorships and other charities which would impact positively upon my immediate and distant environments. That is my petition to my Father in heaven and once granted, I would be able to leave this world much better than I met it and die a peaceful death!
Anything short of that achievement will amount to a failed vision. As I enunciated at the beginning of my life-story, I am one of the three identified groups for whom I have a strong concern: a fellow “struggler”. That is why I am ruled by vision.
How do I intend to get to that level? I have earlier touched on the issues and virtues that I should cultivate to overcome. They include a new way of conducting my life which incorporates transparency, honesty, accountability, budgeting (for which I have a fast-selling book in the market, “Family Budgeting, A Must for Your Family”) and data banking by which I have cut out wasteful spending and indulgences.
Today, I am working on multiple streams of incomes rather than limiting myself to a linear income strategy, which had hitherto been the case. The present-day economic challenges require that every individual develops between five to ten sources of incomes simultaneously! Unfortunately, many of us have not got that message yet. Many parents are still training their children for paid employment instead of pointing them in the direction of self-actualisation and establishing their own productive businesses ab initio.
Make Yourself Wealthy!
Many people are still captivated by the possibilities of income through miracles instead of exploring God's wisdom for wealth as severally revealed in the Bible. Such a habit is the 'ruination' of peoples. But the African has always been ignorant due to lack of knowledge, as stated in the Bible! Many people are still shying away from researching into God's wisdom for wealth which, apart from their being revealed in the Bible, can be gleaned from other books written divinely by great men, the internet, seminars, and so on!
Ignorance in Africa has persisted because a large number of the people are lazy-minded when it gets to issues that sustain life. For instance, treasures are hidden in the books written by those whom God has blessed. They are in the internet free of charge-just use the Google, Yahoo or About search engines on the internet for the word 'wealth' or “riches”. Visit the www.multiplestreamincome.com and drink from the wisdom bank of the George Allen's wealth creating ideas! By early January 2006, my website, www.joent-ng.com would, hopefully, have been operational. You will be amazed as to the number of resources that will be available therein, for you freely to prosper! All one needs are the ideas for prosperity. They are there but we don't read them. For instance, George Classon's little book “The Richest Man in Babylon
As I have stated already, Nigerians are exposed to all the avenues to make life meaningful if only they would take them. Apart from the Igbo people in the Eastern part of Nigeria who practise the multiple streams of income system, all the other ethnic groups in the country are so contented with the linear method of income that once it is jeopardized, calamity stares them in the face!
So, our salvation lies in developing the culture of reading to keep us abreast of the available methods by which we can live our lives in the light and sound of our Creator!
If my readers want to be rich, let them find out the secrets of wealth creation, starting with the Bible which contains ample resources; then read up all other books they can lay their hands upon. If they want to be healthy, start with the Bible too and they will find what will give them perfect health. If they want to be an effective Pastor, follow the initial routine and go on to read all the literature they can lay their hands on regarding pastoral duties. If they want to be a Lawyer, start with the Bible, from Genesis to Malachi! Do they know that the very first principle of 'fair hearing' origininated from the Garden of Eden when God gave Adam the opportunity to explain his position regarding the commission of original sin? If they want to marry, let them start with the Bible where they will find all it takes to have a successful marriage. While on it, they shouldn't fail to read the whole Book of Ruth and also Proverbs 31:11-31 for the revelation of the roles of the good woman. They will discover that a woman is not supposed to be caged in the kitchen or she should be the breadwinner of the family!
They may well ask, why the emphasis on the Bible? I have since realised that it is the complete source of wisdom and knowledge. Every true wisdom contained in other good books is transplanted from the Bible and, similarly, every good book - motivational, professional, leadership, etc - is a true distillation of the contents of the Bible too. Someone, somewhere, had practised and preached all human habits before in the Bible, but it is good for my readers to discover for themselves in the Bible. For instance, every leader whether in the home, the workplace, the Church, the Club, anywhere there is leadership challenge, should be thoroughly familiar with the book of Nehemaiah to see how godliness is effectively combined with hard work and how every distraction of the adversaries (if you like it, enemies, within and without) were successfully warded off in order not to disturb the vision of re-builing the walls of Jericho.
The Bible has rightly summed it up by saying in Hos. 4:6 that “My people perish from lack of knowledge.”
Lack of or poor reading habit amounts to 'lack of knowledge'; lack of knowledge amounts to ignorance and mediocrity, and mediocrity begets poverty. Unfortunately poverty is a major bane in the African continent and until that is eradicated, we will not see true emancipation. I, about whom you are reading today, have years ago done it. Let my life story register something in you - that you cannot fail unless you choose to fail. Secondly, you cannot succeed without taking the pain to search for the hidden treasures wherever they may be. I will give you more details …
As I have stated earlier, what I practise is what I preach. I had freed myself from the grip of ignorance by first changing my attitude to reading and the natural and practical effect of that new culture includes the writing of this book!
However, a cardinal purpose of this book is to encourage readers to use what they have learned to make a success of their lives, whatever the circumstances they might face. I also look forward to their responses, which would make me organise a crucial meeting of stakeholders to discuss, or interact on, the numerous issues that have been raised herein. The published outome would certainly profit the world at large.
What I am driving at is that it is necessary to establish that in order to be wealthy, it is imperative to earn income from many sources that couldn't be done or achieved from receiving wages of a single employment, no matter the additional overtime pay! (which I discarded as far back as the late 70's) . That has been proved from the pages of Robert G. Allen's “Multiple Streams of Income”.
When I look back to my beginnings, my first employment at Specomill Textiles in 1974 or thereabout on a wage of N1.05 (one naira and five kobo) per day and compare it to my present worth of far more than 0.50k per second, I must say that I have made a tremendous achievement which was only made possible by God who favoured me with a clear vision anchored upon hard work. That is the type of transformation I wish my readers to also achieve in their lives.
Chapter 55
Eradicating Poverty
from My Family
It will be a folly and I will be self-centred to concentrate all efforts on eradicating poverty from my own life if I fail to carry my family and others alike along in that race. For this reason, I have had to ensure that I did not allow my past personal failings to bring me down and thereby jeorpardise the fate of the generations after me.
In the war against poverty, I have had to start with myself, my immediate and extended families before extending my strategy of survival to the world at large in whatever capacity I find myself.
My Children
I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter that, lack of moderation in anything we do is one of the major causes tying us with poverty. That is the underlying consideration why I resolved that I would not bear children beyond the number (don't ask me how many of it is immaterial) I can personally care for conveniently. I do not favour a situation whereby, through indiscriminate procreation, I would undercut the children's foundations or wipe out the opportunities for their survival and progress. First, I want to give them a legacy of financial availability. I do want to become a grandfather that the children and grand-children would like to visit rather than one that would be a burden to them. I am therefore investing in their lives as a good father should do for his children, especially through education for I am not going to stack up money somewhere for them to access uninhibited. When they have prospered, I will accept 'whatever they voluntarily feel like giving me' in reciprocal appreciation of my being a good father. I will not create responsibilities for them. I do not only practise it but I am seen to uphold that principle.
Second, I must give them the spiritual and physical skills to prosper in life. I recognize that it takes God, education and good moral upbringing, which ensure good conduct and honesty, to leave a worthwhile legacy for one's offspring. Such consideration underpins my family's guiding principles in the training of our children. In the pursuit of all these ideals, I ensured that I provided the enabling environment for my children to serve their God, study without disruption whatsoever and, even at their very tender ages, agree to the professions they would like to pursue for a living when they eventually possess the qualification for them.
I learnt a great lesson from what the Nigerian leadership of my struggling days did to me to interfere with my destiny by not providing the necessary power supply for me to read my books, a fact that has continued to affect the current environment of my children! To restrict or eliminate such a situation, as a permanent feature of their growing experience and uplift their academic goals, I searched for acceptable alternative power until I came across the so-called 'Inverter Technology'. This technology whose batteries are capable of being charged from wind, solar or other identifiable sources, can store power while Direct Current (DC) is available and then supply alternative power seamlessly whenever DC ceases or fails. Though the provision was rather expensive, my children's interest was uppermost in my consideration, to enable them continue their reading without stress during frequent electric power outages in Nigeria
Another conscious effort I have made to shape the outlook (and ensure a well-rounded education) of my children was to make them interested in the core science subjects - like Mathematics, Further mathematics, Physics, Chemistry and Biology. As my own early childhood was deprived of such priviledge, a fact made more painful in the realisation of my inherent vocational disposition to the scientific approach to life, I have fought to put a stop to such a situation in my family. So, from their kindergarten days, I supported and motivated them to gain a proper mastery of the seemingly knotty subjects which have generally proved to be a nightmare to most Nigerian students who routinely fail them in examinations.
By the special grace of God, most of our children who have left secondary schools collected the top prizes in the subjects.
Also, availability of books is essential to profitable study. So it is mandatory upon me to ensure that all books recommended for my children are promptly purchased at every stage of their educational development. Besides, my library is full of books for guidance and further education.
In my own peculiar way, considering the depraved society Nigeria
I believed that if they stayed with me in their youth, they would reflect my nurturing and my attributes in their persons in the end. I did not believe in just paying school fees, I was interested in the quality of my children or how they turn out to be. I made them aware that I was not training them solely for the Nigerian situation, I wished to make them citizens of the world: to be insatiable seekers after knowledge and Godly citizens who cherished and promoted honesty, truth, fairplay, social justice, love and good neighbourliness.
Serving God
I see my Creator as the God of the Family. So, I have always endeavoured to worship Him with my family. I have never wanted my children to be nominal Christians who served God by rote - that is, Sunday-Sunday Church
I have shared my views, experiences and history with them. (They were beneficiaries of the first edition of “Better Tomorrow” when it was published in 1992). I personally charted the development of their character traits so I could moderate them to become acceptable human beings. It was dangerous not to be their constant companion during their vulnerable teenage years, especially because the Holy Bible is emphatic about the fact that what one teaches the youth remains with them and shapes their characters for life! So I watched and guided both their physical and spiritual development jealously.
They have been witnesses to how I treated my parents, my wife, my extended family, my friends, my neighbours and my colleagues so that they will know how to treat others when they grow up.
Above all, they have realised that whatever I preach concerning God and man is what I practise. I have taught them to follow Christ and that it is not enough for them to treat their own spouses well when they are married but it is also important they identified with their extended family and played whatever roles that would uplift the entire corporate family. They have been taught that no matter where they might live Iyin Ekiti, Ekiti State Nigeria
These and many more are holistic views that will stand them in good stead throughout life and bring meaning and satisfaction to their God, themselves and humanity in general. Once they achieve these, my joy shall surely be full.
People who don't read books tend to find life boring, dull and their lives are static. So cultivate a reading habit! Yemi Omogboyega
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